Bill Belichick Doesn't Know Anything About the Twitter or 'InstantFace'

Bill Belichick is a no-frills kind of guy.

All he's ever wanted from technology is a clipboard and a telescoping lens. He can barely stomach regular media, much less the social kind where people talk to each other and other dumb stuff.

If it's not actively focusing on next week and trying to get better as a team, Belichick has no use for it. So, reliably, the New England Patriots head coach relished a recent opportunity he was afforded to dismiss the idea that he might have ever used social media.

Speaking on the air with WEEI Boston, Belichick answered a question about how he kept up communications with Tom Brady and other players during this year's hectic, controversy-filled offseason. Specifically, did he hit them up on the Twitter or Vinestagram?

As SB Nation's Andrew Jones noted, Belichick answered this in certain terms: "I don't have a Twitter account. I don't have InstantFace, I don't have any of that," Belichick said. "So..."

Bill Sikes/Associated Press

This is premium Belichick—100 percent uncut, straight from the source.

Few non-football things make him happier than exaggerating his own fuddy-duddy-ness. Simply uttering the word "Facebook" in his presence causes Belichick to croak "InstantFace" and cram a fistful of Werther's into his mouth. It's how he wards off the Wi-Fi demons.

He has a track record of this, mind you:

You have to love the consistency. He even puts different spins on it.

I just can't wait for Belichick to find out about more apps so he can add more terms to his repertoire. Granted, "Scopebook" seems like social media the Patriots might actually use already.

Dan is on TweetFeed.