Where does "scream into a brick of cash" rank on your personal list of the most "Johnny Manziel" things you can think of?
I would have put it at No. 3 or 4, right between "touchdowns" and "cinnamon whisky"—that is, until I saw it for myself.
Judging by a recently uploaded Instagram video, the Cleveland Browns quarterback spent a portion of his weekend making local calls on a large stack of money.
The footage—uploaded by Instagram user jtgolfer99—shows Manziel palming a Mayweather-esque sheaf of bills and pantomiming a phone call with friends. It is not safe for work, as it contains naughty language and toxic quantities of Johnny being Johnny.
Warning: Video contains NSFW language.
Nope. He can't hear you. Manziel left his Bananaphone at home and was stuck using a greenback burner. Even worse, none of these bros are on his Bramily Plan.
So how much money did Manziel have in hand?
What at first appears to be $20,000 in cash may actually have been several hundred one-dollar bills. When the toaster this video was filmed on stabilizes, you can make out the "$1" markings on the bills, which leads me to believe these funds likely ended up on a glittery floor.
This would make sense, considering Manziel was in Houston over the weekend hanging with Drake and taking in the night scene.
According to Stephen Douglas of The Big Lead, the 21-year-old Heisman Trophy winner was seen hanging with TCU undergrad Colleen Crowley—sister of Chandler Parsons' girlfriend Robyn Crowley. The two were seen walking into a nightclub.
Manziel uploaded a picture of himself and Crowley with the caption "WAYYYY UP."
Indeed, the only things missing from Manziel's docket this weekend were a tacit apology and a playbook selfie.
As for the sports-y side of things, I'm happy to report that it's still the offseason and the quarterback competition in Cleveland has barely begun.
Per Lindsay H. Jones of USA Today, Browns head coach Mike Pettine still has Brian Hoyer "securely ahead of him [Manziel] right now"—a theme he's maintained since the Browns drafted Johnny Football in May.
Only time will tell if Manziel's Vegas pool parties and swan seduction will negatively affect his shot at the starting job in Cleveland, but I will say that money-spending and champagne are par for the course. This—in addition to winning football games—is what Johnny does.
Cleveland knows what it signed up for when it rang Manziel this May. Now the Browns will just see if Johnny answers the call come game time.
On the Twitters.