I don't really have a witty opening here, and nor do I plan on thinking of one.
Why should I? All the ideas of possible draft picks are running through my head.
So, instead of wasting more time, I'll just tell you what I'm doing.
There are probably 50 different versions of these flying all over ESPN's Page 2. So that is why I'm doing the idea justice and ripping them off.
Here is the ultimate mockery of mock drafts for 2008.
The first thing we are going to do is make it a lottery like the NBA, because lets face it. That is just a brilliant idea.
The thing is the order came out pretty much intact. The only differences were the New York Jets got the first pick, and the New York Giants got the second pick.
Yes with just one lottery ball, the New York Giants were picked second. Let's face it, it's not the only time they beat ridiculous odds.
Shoot! There’s that witty intro, stop wasting time!
1. New York Jets - Stephen Spielberg, Filmmaker
Not to be outdone by his counterpart Bill Belichick, Eric Mangini enlists Spielberg to help him create the ultimate collection of opposing team's walkthroughs.
2. New York Giants - Mercury Morris, Perfect RB
I'm willing to bet Mercury has dirty pictures of Tom Coughlin and the entire Giants team. How else could they muster up the ability to beat the Patriots? Mercury continues to blackmail New York into helping him make his comeback.
3. Cleveland Browns - Alice the Snorg Girl
Bill Parcells refuses to make a pick, then promptly deals it for Derek Anderson and every pick the Browns own. They select the girl from the Snorg T-Shirt advertisements because apparently, she's kind of a big deal.
4. St. Louis Rams - Trevor Immelman, Golfer
How many Majors has Marc Bulger won? That's right, one less than Trevor Immelman!
5. Atlanta Falcons - Snoopy, Cartoon Dog
What better way to show you disapprove of Michael Vick's actions than select probably the most lovable dog ever? I mean, Snoopy is Joe Cool.
6. Oakland Raiders - Tommy Kelly, Raiders DL
They liked him enough to give him an absurd amount of money. But, they like him that much more to select him in a spot they didn't have the guts to select him at years ago.
7. Kansas City Chiefs - Trey Hillman, Royals Manager
Hey, he turned the Royals around. Why not the Chiefs? The only downside is Billy Butler is not included in the selection. Too bad, the "Big Donkey" would have brought some punch to that offensive line.
8. New England Patriots - Darren McFadden, RB
What? Just because none of the other teams are taking real players doesn't mean Bill Belichick has to play by those rules. Haven't we learned this by now?
9. Baltimore Ravens
3 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment
Anthony Grethel about 1 year ago
wow I love this.
Best selection:
#5. Atlanta Falcons -- Snoopy, Cartoon Dog.
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JJ Stankevitz about 1 year ago
Dexter Morgan to the Bengals? Why the hell didn't I think of that? I've actually watched both seasons of that show!
And I'm not sure what Jimmy up there was talking about, this was hilarious. Although, being a Bears fan, I understand the frustrations with reading the word "football" right now...
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Brendan Majev about 1 year ago
This is so far the funniest one I've read... well done!
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