I’ve decided to start the NTL. The National Taunting League.
Since the NFL is considering the drastic action of taking away touchdowns from a player who taunts before they score, I must react in an equally drastic way. Johnny Manziel will be my first pick. It will be glorious.
Look, it was bad enough that the NFL has cracked down on players celebrating after scoring a touchdown; but celebrating before you score a touchdown? We should be rewarding them for that. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to so badly dominate your opponent that you actually have time to do anything before you score? And they want to take away a touchdown for that?
If I were in the NFL, my thought process would pretty much consist of “Oh s*** oh s*** oh s*** oh s***” running away from the defender and trying not to get murder-tackled until I made it into the end zone. To be able to take a second while play is still going on and taunt your opponent? I tip my hat to you, sir.
Do you have any idea the stuff that goes on on the field that the cameras don’t catch? I’m sure Rodney McLeod, the guy Golden Tate taunted, or somebody on the Seahawks had sufficiently told Tate what a punk he was in so many words before Tate got the advantage on him and explained via the art of mime that he was not a punk. Good for him.
Football is a game of emotions. You are competing at the highest level against some of the most skilled athletes in the world. You’re probably going to be a little on edge. And when you smoke somebody so bad that you have time to give them a little wave and let them know just how bad you bested them, I think you should take it.
Why not? Did McLeod go to the bench and start crying because Tate was so mean to him? No, he’ll use it as fuel for the rest of the year to make sure that never is allowed to happen again.
We’re on a very slippery slope here. The NFL has banned celebrations with multiple players. They’ve already banned taunting. Now they are looking to completely eliminate it with these new rules. Pretty soon celebrating in general will be penalized. We’ll have post-score interactions like this:
[Hands the ball to the referee] “I say, good sir, that was a most exhilarating run. [Referee warns player not to celebrate any further] “Darrelle, you did an excellent job of trying to tackle me. I was certainly fortunate to be able to stay on my feet long enough to make it to the end zone.” “DeSean, old chap, you are a gentleman and a scholar. I will do my best to get you next time. Congratulations.”
Hey, we’re already trying to get a team in London. This isn’t that far off.
“But we’re trying to set an example for our children!” I got news for you. Our children are already terrible; they don’t need our help.
Taunting is a part of sports. It’s a part of competition. Go to any random pickup basketball game and let me know if there’s no taunting going on. Hell, try any random Monopoly game. You landed on Park Place. Hand over all your money, son!
The NFL is already the No Fun League. It’s been established, there’s no changing it. We get it. But taking away touchdowns for taunting before you cross the goal line is just a step too far. If not because it’s a terrible idea for all of the reasons I’ve just listed, then because at some point it will decide a game that it shouldn’t.
When DeSean Jackson ran out the clock against the Giants, was he taunting? Are you ready for that kind of play to be overturned and for us to debate about it for a whole week? I’m not. Please, God, do not let that happen.
Hopefully the NFL will see calling back touchdowns because of taunting as the ridiculous proposal that it is. And when they do, I’ll respond in the only fashion appropriate.
Hey, NFL, your mom negates touchdowns after taunting.
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