Would you sell out your best friend for money? Brian Wilson wouldn’t—not even for $1 million.
Yes, you did read that correctly. Brian Wilson—a man whose future in MLB still remains highly questionable—was offered $1 million to cut off hair that will grow back, and he refused.
It’s insane, but admirable, in a way. The right-handed pitcher's career took a tailspin after undergoing Tommy John surgery in 2012 to repair a torn UCL.
Prior to signing with the Los Angeles Dodgers in July, Wilson spent the last year entirely off the grid, like Tom Hanks in Castaway. A 31-year-old bachelor with a long road to recovery, it’s no wonder that Wilson won’t shave the beard—it's stuck with him through his entire comeback to the big leagues.
Wilson made his debut with the Dodgers on Thursday night, recording two strikeouts and giving up a double in the ninth. He also treated the world to a brand new facial hair accessory—the beard scrunchie, or “bunchie,” as I like to call it.
Put simply, people did not like the bunchie.
It annoys me that Brian Wilson's beard scrunchy isn't the right shade of blue. pic.twitter.com/fPZicZ4rj5— Jesse Spector (@jessespector) August 22, 2013
ugh. what the hell is that little ponytail Brian Wilson has coming out of his beard & when will Bud hand down a 211-game suspension for it?— Jay Jaffe (@jay_jaffe) August 22, 2013
It’s difficult to “Fear the Beard” when it’s sporting gear typically reserved for reruns of Clarissa Explains It All—except when you look at it in a different way.
If this whole MLB comeback thing goes sideways for Wilson, they're always looking for motivated self-starters in the “horse lord” industry.
Either way, Wilson is back and the beard is here to stay. It is known.
Ride across the Dothraki Sea, over the Red Waste and join me on Twitter.