Calipari's a Loose Cannon, Ric Flair Is Allah, Free Bartman and More

I thank you all for taking the time to give me some of your time. I hope I am able to entertain with my rapid take on the past few days in the world of sports.

• Everybody has varying tastes. That is why they make both chocolate and vanilla ice cream. From my vantage, with the exception of Davidson College and the tremendous moxie that they exhibited en route to advancing to the Elite Eight, this has been a relatively ho-hum tournament, which really hasn’t captivated my interest.

Nevertheless, with all four No. 1 seeds advancing to the Final Four for the first time since 1979, I entirely anticipate that the final week of the season will more than redeem this year's version of March Madness.

At the very least, the greatest collection of talent on the collegiate hardwood will be on display in San Antonio and Memphis Coach John Calipari always has the propensity to leave some form of an indelible moment while in “Alamo City.”

For reference, after coaching UMass to a hard-fought victory over Temple University in 1994, Calipari nearly was accosted by John Chaney during his post-game interview after he incited the former psychotic, loose-cannon leader of the owls.

“I’ll kill your f**king ass,” bellowed the manic former Owl while being restrained by his own players. “You remember that! The next time I see you, I’ll kick your ass! Kick your ass!”

If that incident wasn’t enough fodder for the ages, in 1998, “Coach Cal” called Newark Star Ledger reporter Dan Garcia a “fu**ing Mexican idiot” after being posed with an unfavorable question. The gist of the matter is, if UCLA, Kansas, North Carolina or Memphis can’t provide excitement, Calipari by his lonesome could.

• This weekend, I watched Bryant Gumbel’s interview on HBO’s Real Sports with former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies standout Lenny Dykstra, and I walked away baffled by what I viewed.

Dykstra, who was named last year in the Mitchell Report as an abuser of steroids and whose off-the-field lifestyle was notorious throughout his 12-year career, has shockingly flourished in the world of finances.

Since retiring from the sport of baseball in 1998, Dykstra has made millions in the stock market, and he is considered by many as something of a Wall Street wizard.

“Lenny’s one of the three or four people who, if they gave me a stock tip, I would listen,” said financial guru Jim Cramer in the segment.

Despite the fact that “Nails” now moves with the grace of Ozzy Osborne, and he speaks with the eloquence of Andrew Dice Clay on smack, he is not somebody to underestimate because of his unrefined and inarticulate ways.

Dykstra sold his car wash chain for $55 million, and he purchased Wayne Gretzky’s house in California last year for $17 million. He is a man who has mostly achieved on and off the field via hard-work, grit, and determination. Dykstra is generally someone to be admired.

Unfortunately, like the majority of his peers did in their heydays, he cheated by utilizing synthetic testosterone, and he subsequently lied about taking them (including during this interview).

“Nails” Dykstra is yet another well-intending person who was corrupted by the dreaded Steroid Era, and he ultimately became one of the rogue timeframe’s poster children.

• “We’re a flat team on the road. We’re in games, but I’d like to get a win on the road. I don’t count the Knicks. We have to go out there and beat a good team,” said New Jersey Nets forward Richard Jefferson last week in a great instance of candor.

Jefferson and his Nets teammates shouldn’t count beating the New York Knicks. If an NBA team loses to the Knickerbockers, they either are a pathetic and feeble squad, or they are uncaring quitters who don’t deserve to be thought of as paid professionals.

• Former Chicago Cubs left fielder Moises Alou acknowledged that he never would have caught the foul ball in game six of the NLCS against the Florida Marlins that made Steve Bartman a pariah in the “Windy City.”

“Everywhere I play, even now, people still yell, ‘Bartman! ‘Bartman!’ I feel really bad for the kid,” said Alou. “You know what the funny thing is? I wouldn’t have caught it, anyway.”

Enough already, North-Siders! Can we finally let this poor sap who is in self-imposed exile off the hook? It’s not like Bartman blatantly banged the pooch, and, with Alou’s admission, we now have virtual confirmation that the Cubbies didn’t fold that autumn night in 2003 because of his desire to snare a foul ball in the stands.

All I can say is, “Free Bartman!” Ask this man, wherever he’s bunkered-up, to throw out the first pitch of a game at Wrigley or enable him the chance to be a guest announcer at a ballgame. Do something kind for this lifelong and immortally loathed Chicago Cubs fanatic. One night has cost him five years. Enough is enough.

• “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair, 59, retired Sunday night after he lost to “the Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XXIV in Orlando, Fla.

Flair, a 16-time world champion, who earned a scholarship in 1969 to play football for the University of Minnesota, became one of the biggest icons to ever step into the squared circle.

“Naitch” deserves a lifetime of credit for the commitment and passion that he put into the “sport” of professional wrestling everytime he entered the ring since debuting in 1972.

As Flair says, he was a “Stylin’, profilin’, limousine-riding, jet-flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin’ n’ dealin’ son of a gun!” Flair, a man who survived a serious plane crash in 1975, was more than that. Flair was the greatest performer in the history of his profession, and he will always be cherished by fans of the male soap opera known as “rasslin.” “Wooooooo!”

He was, and he always will be, “the man!”

I thank you all for giving me your time. Without your readership, I’d have zero reason to write.