Fill Your 401k: The 15 MLB All-Stars Who Really Ought to Retire. Now.

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Fill Your 401k: The 15 MLB All-Stars Who Really Ought to Retire. Now.
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Waving goodbye.

30 games into the 2012 MLB season, a number of storylines have begun to crystallize across the league.

The St. Louis Cardinals remain strong, even without Albert Pujols. The Los Angeles Dodgers are resurgent, perhaps due to at last having shed the weight of the TMZ-style drama that was their old ownership.

The Texas Rangers are still great, Cubs fans are in for another very long year and, somehow, the boys at Camden Yards are holding off all of the other teams that folks had figured would outperform the O’s in the AL East—which is to say, everybody.

That said, with the exception of the aforementioned Pujols, most of the stories to date about individual players have covered only those who have excelled—Matt Kemp, David Wright and the like. 

This article will not be one of those.

No, for the next few minutes, we here at Bleacher Report will be investigating the players who need to call it quits—the ones for whom the fat lady is singing. And we won’t just be looking at utility guys, either. What follows is a list of 15 former All-Stars who, for the benefit of themselves, their teams, their fans and their own dignities, need to quietly walk off into the sunset.

Now, before it’s too late.

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