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Tampa Bay Buccaneers Next Coach: Will the New Guy Simply Be a Band-Aid?

Would Mike Sherman simply be a short-term solution?
Would Mike Sherman simply be a short-term solution?Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
Tom EdringtonSenior Writer IJanuary 9, 2012

Before everyone goes bonkers, before everyone starts spewing disappointment and woe over Mark Dominik's AARP-approved "exhaustive" coaching search for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, let's take a step back and consider something about this new guy, whoever it might be.

The first of the dominoes fell today with Romeo Crennel getting the "interrim" tag removed in Kansas City. The most eye-opening development in that hire was the three-year contract given to Crennel.

Now, consider this:

Is it totally possible that the new head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will simply be a short-term solution until someone really eye-opening comes into the market?

Is it totally possible that the new guy will simply be a band-aid?

Is it possible that the owners and Dominik simply want some order restored to this asylum?

Is it possible that the Buccaneers simply need a good, short-term dose of their own version of Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Highway, the Clint Eastwood-portrayed character from the 1986 hit movie?

You might recall that Gunny Highway was a gung-ho Marine nearing the mandatory retirement age. He ends up with the unglamourous assignment of cleaning up "Recon" Platoon, a collection of undisciplined slackers (sound familiar?).

Is it possible that the "new coach" is simply a short-timer?

 

By now you know the unglamorous list of oldie-goldie retreads:

Mike Sherman.

Marty Shottenheimer.

Brad Childress.

Wade Phillips.

Mouseketeer role call, sound off now!

You'll notice that the Bucs have already taken care of the Rooney Rule, interviewing Tennessee defensive coordinator Jerry Gray, to which 1010 AM talk show host Shaun King of the King David Show promptly declared on Monday: "The next coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will not be an African-American."

The good news for the penny-pinching Glazer clan is that the aforementioned names of "mature" gentlemanly coaches will work for a lot less than a Jeff Fisher will.

To further fuel our possible conspiracy theory is the three-year deal given Crennel. If the new Tampa Bay guy gets a three-year deal, then this bungfuggle of a coaching search will scream "Band Aid!"

The perception of Raheem Morris' final games is that this team totally quit on him. We sat there and stared week after week at a "Recon Platoon" version of an NFL team. No discipline, no swagger, no want-to, no nothing.

 

It's not going to take a lot to get this ship to look better than those final 10 weeks.

Enter Sherman, Mr. 25-25 at Texas A&M.

Sherman has been declared the early favorite by some NFL observers with the wild additional theory that Mark Dominik will hire Brad Childress at the offensive coordinator and Mike Nolan as the defensive coordinator.

Also consider that Mr. 25-25 has the same agent as Dominik. Now doesn't that totally smack "Conflict of Interest?"

Yes, this is becoming an "exhaustive" search, probably meaning that the silliness of it all is becoming "exhaustive" to Buccaneer fans.

So while we're getting silly, let's just go ahead and suggest Gunny Highway as the new coach of the Buccaneers.

Raheem Morris' mantra was play faster, play harder and play smarter and all he got was slower, softer and dumber.

Gunny Highway's mantra was simple:

"You improvise.You adapt, You overcome."

And this Buccaneer team needs a lot of that.

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