NBA Lockout: A Song for Every Team This Offseason

The NBA lockout has created a long, dry, and boring spell for fans. We have been teased with salacious performances by Kevin Durant and Kobe Bryant in street league games, but it looks to be a long and boring winter.

So what are players to do with their time off (other than stay in shape and try to earn extra money)? Listen to music, of course!

Here is one song to describe each team's current situation. There are love-sick ballads, rock anthems, and mellow ditties to help each fan get through this dreary lockout.

Atlanta Hawks: Break on Through (to the Other Side) by the Doors

Atlanta's albatross has been its inability to win crucial playoff series (as well as the $120 million they are giving to Joe Johnson).

This song symbolizes everything the Hawks can't do. Hopefully coach Larry Drew will be able to light the team's fire and get them to the conference finals.

Boston Celtics: Forever Young by Bob Dylan

The only thing sorer than Red Sox fans' spirit are KG's knees. The Celts may as well have been the actual Bob Dylan during last year's playoffs.

Orlando Magic: Dy'er Mak'er by Led Zeppelin

Surprisingly, Dwight Howard decided not to put this Led Zeppelin song on his recent kids album.

New York Knicks: Imagine by John Lennon

Knicks fans have been dreaming for years of a return to relevancy. It looks like their dreams are close to being fufiled.

However, let's go through the team's outstanding weaknesses to the chorus of the John Lennon song.

Imagine there's no defense. It isn't hard to do.
Nothing to stop LeBron.
And Derrick Rose too.

Imagine if Chris Paul
came to New York today...

Brooklyn Nets: New York State of Mind by Billy Joel

Owners Mikiahl Prokorov and Jay Z are hoping the move across the river will bring everything that New York has to offer: style, credibility, swagger, and money.

Chicago Bulls: Voodoo Child (Slight Return) by the Jimi Hendrix Experience

Derrick Rose is the poster child for elite NBA point guards. Jimi Hendrix was the poster boy for mind-blowing guitar playing.

They just seem to go together.

LA Lakers: Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen

Have the Lakers' Glory Days come and gone?

Kobe has been the alpha dog of the league ever since MJ retired, but he may soon be pining for the halcyon days of the Phil Jackson era.

LA Clippers: Thunderstruck by AC/DC

Blake Griffin dropped into the league like a lightning bolt and fans couldn't be happier. However, with his knee injury and the potential season cancellation, Griffin's career will seem as quick as a flash of lightning.

Portland Trailblazers: My, My, Hey, Hey by Neil Young

Much like the continual popularity of Neil Young, the Trailblazers are omnipresent playoff contenders.

With the health of many of their players in doubt the team is holding true to the lyric, "It's better to burn out, than to fade away."

Minnesota Timberwolves: Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi

Is this team really halfway to getting back to the playoffs? Wolves fans are praying that Rick Adelman can be successful, Ricky Rubio is not a fluke, and that the team can somehow find an answer for their surplus of forwards.

Oklahoma City Thunder: Walk This Way by Aerosmith

The Thunder are the current swagger team in the league. Look for OKC to be gunning for the No. 1 spot in the west. Sam Presti and the success of "Thunderball" has many GMs asking how to walk that way.

Miami Heat: Back in Black by AC/DC

Don't think the Heat will let last year's finals mishaps go easily. They've got a huge chip on their collective shoulders. And they could care less that they are still the league's bad guys.

Denver Nuggets: Second Hand News by Fleetwood Mac

The Nuggets must have felt like second-hand news when they could not buy publicity during Melo show in NYC.

If this rag tag bunch can keep winning, Melo will be long forgotten.

Phoenix Suns: Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me by Elton Jon

Steve Nash is nearing the end of his productive NBA career. Even though he has immense loyalty to the organization, he probably feels like the sun is going down on his chance to earn a ring.

Indiana Pacers: Learning to Fly by Tom Petty

This team still has a lot to learn. They have been pretty good the past few years with some playoff appearances. However, they need to become more disciplined if they want to step up and fly with the big boys of the Eastern Conference.

Detroit Pistons: Long Time by Boston

The days of being a perennial top dog in the Eastern Conference are long gone. Rip Hamilton and Tayshaun Prince are shadows of their past selves and former scoring champ Tracy McGrady has digressed to the point of irrelevance.

Sacramento Kings: Should I Stay or Should I Go? by the Clash

It feels like the Maloof brothers play this song in the background every time the Kings make an announcement about the possibility of a move. It's settled that the Kings will stay in Sacramento, for now.

Charlotte Bobcats: Band on the Run by Wings

Does Michael Jordan feel like the Wings-era Paul McCartney? Even though MJ is the top dog in Charlotte, he'll never come close to what he had in Chicago.

San Antonio Spurs: Old Time Rock and Roll by Bob Seger

The Spurs play old-fashioned, team-oriented basketball with little ego. Old Time Rock and Roll is a song that everyone can dance to at a wedding.

However, no matter how often you play either of these things, eventually they both get a little boring.

Utah Jazz: Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin

"On we sweep, with threshing oar. Our only goal is the western shore." Or in the Jazz's case, a return to the playoffs.

Coach Tyrone Corbin is trying to rebuild the team's ruins after the departure of Deron Williams. He has gotten off to a good start by drafting Turkish hot shot Enes Kanter.

Cleveland Cavaliers: Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles

Dark, dark days followed the departure of LeBron James. Kyrie Irving is a welcome bright spot on the ever gloomy Cleveland sports scene.

Washington Wizards: Beautiful Day by U2

John Wall showed flashes of complete insanity his first year in the NBA. He is a solid cornerstone for the team.

The Wizards got an NBA-ready big man in Jan Vessley. They also got the steal of the draft in Chris Singleton with the 18th pick.

Of course, the next season is going to be beautiful for the Wizards; have you seen their new jerseys? .

Dallas Mavericks: Thank You by ZZ Top

This could have been "We are the Champions," but it's overplayed.

Dallas left NBA fans with a good taste in their mouth as the lockout commenced. They defeated the Big Three and their South Beach hubris.

Dirk and Co. put on one of the best finals shows in years. And Jason Terry's Larry O'Brien trophy tattoo is one of the most awesome predictions ever.

So in the midst of an ongoing lockout, thank you, Dallas Mavericks. You provide bright memories in an otherwise dreary 2011 basketball landscape.

Memphis Grizzlies: RESPECT by Aretha Franklin

These guys defeated the Western Conference goliath during the 2011 playoffs. They also pushed the Thunder to the brink of elimination. Even so, no one is ranking the Grizzlies as a team to beat next year.

Let's show them a little respect.

Golden State Warriors: New Kid in Town by the Eagles

The Warriors made a controversial decision when they decided to hire rookie head coach Mark Jackson. Can the new kid help discipline this run n' gun bunch?

Toronto Raptors: Nowhere Man by the Beatles

Does Toronto still have a team? Ask the average NBA fan to name three players on the Raptors. You are likely get a lot of blank faces.

And it looks like their No. 1 overall pick, Jonas Valanciunas, won't be coming to the team any time soon.

Houston Rockets: Like a Rolling Stones by Bob Dylan

How does it feel to be on your own? With no direction home?

The Rockets are rolling on without Yao Ming. Can Kevin Martin and Luis Scola lead this rag tag bunch?

Philadelphia 76ers: Dancing Days by Led Zeppelin

The 76ers were one of the suprising teams of the Eastern Conference last year. Doug Collins led Philly back to the playoffs. The post A.I. era is in full swing in the city of brotherly love.

Milwaukee Bucks: Small Town by John Mellencamp

The epitome of a small town club. Milwaukee has some feel-good stories with it (see Brandon Jennings' 2010 season) and some disappointing ones (see Andrew Bogut's injury history). Hopefully, the team can overcome their small-market disadvantages and get back to the playoffs.

New Orleans Hornets: Right Place, Wrong Time by Dr. John

This song sums up Chris Paul's career with the Hornets. The team always has boatloads of potential, but something doesn't quite click. It's either injuries, contractual disputes, or financial troubles.

Basketball in New Orleans has so much promise; it just seems like the wrong time.

Bonus: It's the End of the World by R.E.M.

Last Friday's talks went nowhere. Buckle up, fans. We probably won't see any pro basketball for a long time.