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Ranking the Greatest Alberts of All Time

Fred KroneContributor IJanuary 5, 2017

Ranking the Greatest Alberts of All Time

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    The greatest baseball player in the world, Albert Pujols, is back in the World Series.  Will he win his second title and secure a legacy? The better question is: how does he stack up against the greatest Alberts of all time? A panel of experts has scrutinized the candidates and their votes are in.

10. Alberta

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    Alberta, province of Canada, home of the Edmonton Oilers, Calgary Flames, wheat, rodeo, paleontology, caribou and tundra.  

    Tagline: It's cold!

9. Eddie Albert

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    Eddie Albert was a two-time Academy Award nominated actor.  His sports connection was his role as a corrupt prison warden in "The Longest Mile," but you know him best as the dude from "Green Acres," the sitcom where an NYC husband buys a farm and moves his wife (Eva Gabor!), and mayhem ensues.

    He lived to be 99.

    Tagline: You are my wife!

8. Al Gore

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    Albert Arnold "Al" Gore began his rise to super-stardom started when he became Bill Clinton's Vice President in 1992. In 2000 he won the popular vote during the 2000 presidential election, but lost the Electoral College. Since then he has become world famous environmental activist best known from his documentary "An Inconvenient Truth" and has won the Nobel Peace Prize.

    Tagline: Tonight, for the sake of our unity of the people and the strength of our democracy, I offer my concession.

7. Albert Brooks

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    Albert Brooks is an Academy Award nominated actor, a writer, a director, a comedian.  Perhaps he is best known for his guest voice appearances on The Simpsons (he voiced Russ Cargill in "The Simpsons Movie," and Hank Scorpio, Homer's benevolent super villain boss), or as the voice of Marlin, from the Pixar movie "Finding Nemo."  His must-see movies include "Lost in America" and "Broadcast News."

    Tagline:  Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If "needy" were a turn-on? 

6. Fat Albert

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    Fat Albert was the feature character in a cartoon about a fat kid and his friends from North Philly.  The show was created by Bill Cosby, and had a long television run featuring a focus on education and music. It seems absurd now, but compared to Spongebob, it has a certain casual charm.  TV Guide ranked Fat Albert the 12th greatest cartoon character of all time.

    Tagline: Hey, hey, hey!

5. Marv Albert

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    Marv Albert is the ubiquitous voice of basketball, and one of the greatest sports broadcasters of all time. Born in Brooklyn, he made a name for himself as the voice of the New York Knicks.  He has called the Super Bowl, the NBA Finals and the Stanley Cup Finals. He is in the Basketball Hall of Fame.

    Tagline: Yes!

4. Albert Schweitzer

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    Theologian, philosopher, and physician, Albert Schweitzer won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1952 for his philanthropic work including the founding of the Albert Schweitzer Hospital in what is now Gabon, Africa.  He dedicated his efforts to his philosophy of "Reverence for Life" and to finding a universal philosophy of ethics. 

    Tagline: Happiness? That's nothing more than health and a poor memory.

3. Albert Camus

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    French author and philosopher, Albert Camus is famous for works including "The Stranger" and "The Plague."  He gave voice to the philosophy of absurdism.  He received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957, and died in a car accident three years later at the age of 46.

    Tagline: The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

2. Albert Einstein

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    The German-born genius physicist is now known simply as Einstein, which itself is now simply used as an expression for eccentric, smart people.  He gave us the theory of general relativity to explain how space and time work together, and he was instrumental in the rise of quantum theory, which of course gave us the classic show "Quantum Leap."  An avowed pacifist, his letter to President Roosevelt outlining the German threat of an atomic weapon ironically led to the beginning of the Manhattan Project.  He won the Nobel Prize in Physics, and in 1999 was named Time's "Person of the Century."

    Tagline: I believe in intuition and inspiration. Imagination is more important than knowledge. 

1. Albert Pujols

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    How can Albert Pujols outrank Time's "Person of the Century?" Einstein couldn't hit the curve ball.

    Meanwhile, Albert Pujols is ranked as the most feared hitter in baseball.  He's a Rookie of the Year award winner, three-time MVP, nine-time All-Star and a World Series champion.  The list goes on and on, but he's on pace to be one of the greatest, if not the greatest, of all time.  His nickname is "The Machine."

    Tagline: I play first of all to glorify God and to accomplish in this game what everybody wants to accomplish, which is getting to the World Series and coming up with a win at the end. 

Honorable Mention: Al Davis

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    Disqualified because his name is "Allen," the former Raiders owner still deserves mention on this list. He was the AFL commissioner, led a merger with the NFL and gave rise to the Super Bowl, which his Raiders later won three times.  Al Davis died on October 8.

    Tagline: Just win, baby!

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