Have you seen these men?
Since the end of August, authorities have been searching for the man on the left.
The gentleman on the right has been missing since June.
Both were last seen in the vicinity of 161st Street and River Avenue in the Bronx.
Any information that leads to their safe return will be generously rewarded by their wealthy benefactors.
Sit down and shut up Nick.
All Nick Swisher has been able to do in this series is complain to the umpires.
Hey Nick, maybe you should try taking the bat off of your shoulder.
I'm not a professional ballplayer, but it's just a thought—something that popped in my head.
Perhaps that's the secret to end your 0-for-28 postseason streak with runners in scoring position.
Don't worry though—I'm sure that .182 average won't hurt your negotiations with the Yankees this winter.
Tex couldn't hit Texas on a map with his bat right now.
Mark Teixeira might have hit over 40 home runs and driven in over 100 RBI in the regular season to help the Yankees get to the playoffs, but that's irrelevant now.
What have you done for me lately?
Since hitting .308 in the 2010 ALDS against the Minnesota Twins, Mark Teixeira is 1-for-his-last-25 in the playoffs.
1-for-25! Add onto that his impressive RBI total of ZERO.
If it wasn't for his still outstanding defense at 1B, Tex would be higher on this list.
Wipe that smirk off your face.
Just before I started typing, I was scratching my head.
Partly because I had an itch, but mainly because I don't know what Joe Girardi is doing anymore.
Actually, I'm pretty sure Joe has no idea what he's doing anymore.
Whether it be Game 2, when he inexplicably pinch hit Eric Chavez for Brett Gardner...or pitched to Miguel Cabrera in the sixth inning...or bought Luis Ayala into a tie game.
Or perhaps it was Game 3, when his 300lb starting pitcher was obviously spent—I mean it was obvious to everyone—and he still sent him back out to put more people on base and give up another run.
Is he talking to Grady Little in between innings?
No, I think his smartest decision so far has been to put the entire season on the shoulders of AJ Burnett, who Girardi says "could have a short leash."
He could have a short leash?
Hey Joe, keep this in mind: you could have a job next year, but with Terry Francona now a free agent, I wouldn't count on it if you lose later today.
Are you trying to count your toes or how many men you put on base?
Since the Yankees won the World Series in 2009, CC Sabathia, the ace of the pitching staff, has gone undefeated with a 2-0 record
Impressive, I know.
But consider his ERA of 5.84.
Or WHIP of 1.84.
Would you pay $23 million for that kind of production?
CC may want to rethink opting out of his contract this winter.
If that's your pissed off face, we're screwed.
Maybe A-Rod has his mind on his next "I Love Me Some A-Rod" photo shoot, or perhaps it's on how he can become a sideshow at this year's Super Bowl.
Whatever he's thinking about, it certainly isn't on the task at hand—getting some big hits to keep the Yankees hopes alive.
Alex Rodriguez has not been seen since the end of June.
Since July 1, A-Rod is hitting .224 with 3 HR and 11 RBI.
In the ALDS, he doesn't have a hit, and his two RBI came on two weak groundballs.
His job is to be a difference maker in the middle of the lineup, not a black hole where hope goes to die or someone who occasionally flashes his impressive warning track power.
Perhaps Joe Giradi can inform Alex of that.