Ladies and gentlemen, we've come to the All-Star break, and while the true 50-percent marker in the 2011 MLB season came more than a week ago, this is what most baseball people consider the halfway point.
As such, it's time to hand out some hardware.
In this slideshow are 50 awards, as I'd give them out if the season ended today. Rookies of the Year, Gold Gloves—plus a couple other unofficial categories.
The MVPs are at the end, but first are the Cy Youngs...
Weaver's been phenomenal this year, going 11-4 with a league-leading 1.89 ERA.
Beyond that, he has a sterling 0.91 WHIP and leads the league with a 2.39 FIP, a 2.36 tERA and 4.7 WAR.
Looking past his 11-3 record and 2.45 ERA, Halladay leads all of baseball with a 2.15 FIP, a 2.44 xFIP, a 2.24 tERA and an 8.1 K/BB ratio.
He's somehow been even better than last year.
Everyone knew Pineda was going to be good, but this good?
He's 8-6 with a 3.03 ERA, a 3.17 FIP and 2.4 WAR.
Espinosa's been a very pleasant surprise for the Nationals so far, hitting 16 homers with a .798 OPS and 3.3 WAR while playing solid defense at second base.
He doesn't always make the right choices, but Acta's leadership and sabermetric-friendly attitude have helped the Indians become real contenders for the AL Central championship.
Believe it or not, the Pirates are an above-.500 team and a legitimate threat to win the NL Central.
I don't know what Hurdle's doing in Pittsburgh, but it's definitely working.
Beckett's off to a great start this year, going 8-3 with a 2.27 ERA—a big improvement from last year, when he was 6-6 with a 5.78 ERA in roughly the same amount of innings.
His xFIP is actually higher than last year, though, suggesting the difference is largely luck.
All but left for dead after two years of decline and health problems, Beltran is hitting .289/.379/.509 with a 148 wRC+ and 3.4 WAR.
Suddenly he's an in-demand name on the trade market.
Before the season, Cabrera already had a reputation as a speedy contact hitter.
Now that he's suddenly flashing power, he's got 14 homers, a 136 wRC+, and an already-career-high 3.3 WAR.
With apologies to the Diamondbacks and my Indians, no team has shocked the baseball world this year more than the Pirates.
Who'd've expected them to be in the hunt for the playoffs at the All-Star break?
Liriano entered the season with perhaps the highest ceiling of any pitcher in baseball.
Surely everyone expected better than his 5-7 record and 5.06 ERA.
The Twins entered the season as heavy favorites to finish towards—if not at—the top of the AL Central once again.
Even after a recent hot streak, Minnesota is still seven games under .500.
Is there anyone who is not yet convinced that Buehrle is one of the best-fielding pitchers in baseball?
His glove has been as good as ever in 2011.
Wieters has yet to embrace his destiny as one of the best-hitting catchers in the game, but he's sure been great with the glove.
He's thrown out 44 percent of wannabe base-stealers this year.
Gonzalez is making the most impact with his bat, but he's no slouch with the glove either.
He's got a fantastic 11.2 UZR/150 while playing first base.
One of the most underrated fielders in baseball, Pedroia has 9.9 UZR and a 19.1 UZR/150 to his name.
Rodriguez' defense has been in free fall over the last few seasons—at least, until this year.
A-Rod has an insane 23.1 UZR/150 to date.
Last year's rightful Gold Glove winner at shortstop has been even better in the field this year.
He's got 7.9 UZR and a 12.7 UZR/150.
Gardner has a 34.2 UZR/150 this year. Even if you're not a fan of sabermetric fielding stats, how can you not be impressed by that?
Span's been pretty good with the stick this year, but that doesn't compare to the incredible feats he's accomplished with his glove.
Not just anyone can achieve a 24.7 UZR/150.
A perennially deserving Gold Glover, Gutierrez has 9.4 UZR and an absolutely mind-boggling 41.7 UZR/150.
DRS has Chacin at five runs above average, tops among NL pitchers.
Iannetta should be best known for his .911 power factor and 18.8 percent walk rate, but he's not bad on defense either.
The reigning NL MVP has a 9.0 UZR/150—not quite matching his offensive contributions, but still.
Phillips is overrated offensively, but he lives up to his rep with his glove.
He's got a 16.0 UZR/150 this year.
Believe it or not, Sandoval has an insane 36.4 UZR/150 in just 44 games at the hot corner.
A five-tool stud, Tulowitzki's glove has been impressive for years, but he's taken it to a new level this year.
He's got a 16.2 UZR/150.
Parra's having a career year on offense, but his glove's been pretty sharp too.
He has a 19.7 UZR/150.
Victorino is looking like an MVP candidate this year, and he's got a 22.5 UZR/150.
Great as McCutchen has been with the bat, he's been similarly noteworthy in the field with 14.4 UZR/150.
Avila has been phenomenal this year, hitting .289/.372/.510 with 10 homers, 46 RBI and a 140 wRC+.
Now that he's out of Petco Park, A-Gone is hitting .355/.414/.594 with 17 homers, 77 RBI and a 173 wRC+. He's no pitcher's best friend.
Kendrick is enjoying a career year, hitting .305/.361/.466 with eight homers and a 134 wRC+.
Youkilis is hitting .282/.397/.502 with 12 homers, 61 RBI and 147 wRC+.
His defense at third hasn't been great, but his bat is doing just fine.
Cabrera's hitting .293/.347/.489 with 14 homers, 51 RBI and a 136 wRC+.
His 1.02 WPA leads AL shortstops.
Bautista's been the best player in baseball this year, hitting .332/.468/.702 with 31 homers, 63 RBI and an insane 214 wRC+.
Granderson's coming into his own this year, hitting .271/.362/.578 with 25 homers, 63 RBI and a 156 wRC+.
Ellsbury's hitting .314/.374/.490 with 11 homers, 48 RBI and 141 wRC+.
Big Papi's having quite the resurgence this year, hitting .304/.391/.579 with 19 homers, 53 RBI and a 162 wRC+.
Billingsley's hitting .267/.333/.467 with a homer and a 123 wRC+.
Not bad for a pitcher.
McCann's hitting .312/.381/.517 with 15 homers, 50 RBI and a 146 wRC+. Not many teams get that kind of production from behind the plate.
Fielder's having a career season this year, hitting .300/.417/.580 with 22 homers, 72 RBI and an awesome 172 wRC+.
He's due for a huge free-agent payday this winter.
Weeks has quietly been tearing up the Senior Circuit this season, hitting .278/.348/.485 with 17 homers and a 131 wRC+.
Ramirez is enjoying a nice comeback this year, hitting .302/.350/.503 with 15 homers, 50 RBI and a 129 wRC+.
Reyes is tearing the cover off the ball this year, hitting .354/.398/.529 with a 164 wRC+.
He's hitting better than newly minted 3,000-hit club member Derek Jeter has.
Kemp's been one of the best hitters in baseball this year, hitting .317/.403/.591 with 22 homers, 66 RBI and a 179 wRC+.
If only Kemp wasn't so bad in the field (-7.6 UZR) he'd be the front-runner for MVP.
Braun's swung quite the mighty lumber this year, hitting .320/.402/.559 with 16 homers, 62 RBI and a 172 wRC+.
Berkman's hitting .291/.405/.604 with 24 homers, 63 RBI and a 172 wRC+ in what's been a terrific comeback campaign.
The two best ways to quantify value in baseball are wins above replacement and win probability added.
With 6.5 WAR and 5.50 WPA, Bautista leads all of MLB in both.
Halladay's been the best pitcher in the game this year. He's got 5.1 WAR and 3.27 WPA.
With apologies to Jose Reyes, Doc is the league's most valuable player.
For more of Lewie's work, visit WahooBlues.com.