It is well-documented how the Cincinnati Reds starting pitching has been a grave, I said grave disappointment.
And when I say grave I am talking about sending them to the basement grave. It’ll sink you like a stone, son.
That is the way Foghorn Leghorn would report it. With all the injuries, lack of an ace and inexperience, the Reds are looking up from three floors down right now.
In the humble opinion of this writer, it is time to lure someone’s ace away from them. Lord knows we have young talent that would commence most GMs salivating.
Southpaw ace Mark Buehrle of the Chicago White Sox would attract my attention. According to MLB Trade Rumors he will be freed up after this season. Not yet considered old, but certainly experienced at 32, he could be just what the doctor ordered.
He is currently being paid $14M for the Southside boys and that stings. But hey, you have to spend money to make money.
Buehrle has some good credentials. He is 10th in wins among active pitchers with 154 and has a career ERA of 3.85. He also has the best interleague record of any pitcher with a 24-6 mark, which means he tears up NL hitters.
Did I forget to mention he threw a perfect game in 2009? It looks good on his resume right beside his 2007 no-hitter.
What would the Reds have to part with to sign such a pitcher? They are in need of relief pitching, what have we got to give them?
How about the big guy, Logan Ondrusek? Don’t cry Reds Nation, we are trying to get a stud ace here. That alone would not satisfy the White Sox Muckety Mucks, I can assure you.
How else could we sweeten the pot? How about we throw in a couple of guys for good measure? For example, we could unload, er...I mean throw in Paul Janish and Wily Mo Francisco.
O, my bad, Juan Francisco.
Look at that, we have now made room for Zack Cozart to pop up his head and see if there is a shadow. The 25-year-old is only getting older at Louisville, and his .327/.366/.509 numbers cry out for attention.
And about Francisco, do any of you think he actually has a future in Cincinnati? Just like W.M. Pena, if you love 5:00 upper deck shots, he is your boy.
Do you think that is enough to lure him from the White Sox? With Paulie Konerko making $12M, Alex Rios making $12.5M, Adam Dunn $12M and I almost forgot Jake Peavy and his $16M—do you think they want to keep all of that debt?
If that isn’t enough, we have more to sacrifice if necessary. Maybe we would throw in reliever Jordan Smith, provided they would give us a live body.
You aren’t thinking we should try to pick up Aaron Harang for cheap now are you?