It appears that the once proud Philadelphia Phillie can’t seem to find his head these days...or his clothes, for that matter. The news coming in of Dykstra’s post-retirement exploits makes Charlie Sheen look sane and rational. (They are good friends...clap if you are surprised at all. Clap twice if it’s equally surprising that Dykstra thinks Sheen is A-OK.)
The problem with Dykstra is his exploits are so random and weird that we wonder if they are real at all. Trust me...they are very, very real. So much so that he’s one hyperbolic chamber from Michael Jackson crazy, or one evacuation to an undisclosed region of Canada away from being Randy Quaid crazy.
Or just maybe Dykstra’s already gone there.
Let’s look at some of the smooth moves this lifetime .285 hitter has made since the end of his run as one of the Boys of Summer.