NFL Trades: 1 Player Each Team Should Try to Trade

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NFL Trades: 1 Player Each Team Should Try to Trade
Andy Lyons/Getty Images

Acknowledging, discussing, or analyzing the NFL lockout is like eating at Arby’s: I don’t have to and you can’t make me. Jerk.

I’m holding out hope that eventually, probably as close to the witching hour as they can get, the two sides will come together, realize that one and one and one is three, and this bull-spit will get sorted out. Hopefully.

All I know is the whole affair is preposterously greed-driven.

Billionaire Scrooges claiming to be losing money and refusing to prove it by showing their finances, intent on seizing another billion to split 32 ways, no matter the cost; millionaire players who want better post-career health care and…well, that’s reasonable. I forget, why am I supposed to be mad at the players, Roger Goodell?

Either way, these buffoons better sort this out.

Without the NFL, what will I waste time and thought on, my 401(k) and mortgage? Current legislation in congress? This growing purple lump on my neck? My family?

I’d rather die.    

Well, not die, that’s a bit extreme.  I do enjoy haircuts, and a new season of South Park just started.

How about, I’d rather spend 20 minutes on Chatroulette at four in the morning on a weekend? That might be a fate worse than death, actually. The things you’d see could never be unseen.

But I will waste time and thought on looking forward to 2011 A.L. (After Lockout), when the NFL world will return to normal, and an absolute avalanche of signings and trades should happen. 

Reading the free agency tea leaves is too difficult right now, but who should each team look to trade? Ay, that is the question. 

Which player needs a change of scenery? What team has a surplus at a position? Should a team look to unload their best player in hopes of a Herschel Walker-light trade?  Actually, a Herschel Walker-light trade should heretofore be known as a Julio Jones trade, and a Ricky Williams trade gets you a nickel bag.

A dime bag if you’re tight with the other trader.

Which player should each team look to trade and why? Let’s try and figure that out and forget that the NFL has created the largest pissing match this side of Donald Trump v. reality. 

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