The MLB All-Time Steroid Team by Position

I'm sure we're all getting a little tired of the whole steroid era in major league baseball. But the Manny Ramirez debacle has allowed the topic to rear its ugly head once again.

Recognizing that, I present to you the all-time steroid team. I've taken each starting position and included a known or suspected cheater to represent that position.

It's an ugly team, to be sure, as the stain is indelible on baseball's landscape and will be for a long time. But you may be surprised by a couple of the picks, while others are slam dunks.

Let me know what you think, and if you have better choices at any of the positions. So, sharpen your needles and let's go!

1st Base: Rafael Palmeiro

Mark Wilson/Getty Images

There are others that I could have included here, but that infamous memory of Raffy defiantly wagging his finger to congress is a scene that I'll never forget.

The other thing that makes him such a turd is that he threw his teammate under the bus, implying that he thought he was being shot with a B12 vitamin.

Raffy, you're a liar and now I'm glad my Cubs traded you a long time ago. Now I know why that power developed, you cheater.

2nd Base: Brian Roberts

Rob Carr/Getty Images

But Bob, he only did it once. Right, and I'm the Easter bunny.

Regardless of how many times he did it, he still makes this list. He was in the Mitchell Report, and he admitted using drugs.

Funny, his power numbers didn't exactly go through the roof (literally or figuratively), though they did spike a bit. He remains a good player, but injuries have taken their toll.

Injuries are often a consequence of using steroids, as your body starts to break down.

Shortstop: Nomar Garciaparra

Alright, the first speculation on my team, but Nomar raised suspicions after showing off his physique on the cover of SI.

The picture of him flexing on that magazine cover while he was with the Red Sox showed how much he'd bulked up from his earlier days as a skinny young player. Then, watching his body break down like an old truck left on the side of the road was telling for me.

No more Nomar, thank goodness.

3rd Base: Alex Rodriguez

Who else but A-Fraud himself? The notorious poster boy for cheating only admitted his indiscretion after he was caught, and then came up with some ridiculous story that no one believes.

Left Field: Manny Ramirez

I just had to move Barry Bonds over to center to make room for this idiot.

Manny not only failed a test once, he failed it twice. This guy is not only a cheater, but he's stupid as well.

"Manny being Manny" conjures up a much different image than it used to, although it's goofy either way. 

Centerfield: Barry Bonds

I admit I've cheated a bit here, listing Bonds as a centerfielder. But he did play some center in his Pirates days, and hey, this is a slideshow about cheaters anyway, so anything goes!

You look up cheater in the dictionary and his picture shows up. And for those of you who say he's never admitted it or been caught, you are wrong.

In grand jury testimony and in subsequent hearings, he has admitted taking "the cream" and "the clear," but he just has always insisted that he didn't know they were steroids.

What a waste as he was a Hall of Famer before he bulked up. Now he won't even sniff Cooperstown.

Rightfield: Sammy Sosa

He's never been caught, other than with a corked bat, but the guy is as guilty as they come.

Sammy was always in love with himself, so I hope he now loves the fact that he will never make the Hall of Fame.

Sosa was so-so without the juice. Look at the comparisons as he "grew."

Starting Pitcher: Roger Clemens

The Rocket was fueled by more than we thought, eh?

Clemens is as dirty as anyone, yet he continues to insist he is clean.

Makes you wonder how much of his performance was real and how much was a lie? He will likely never make the Hall, while at one time he was being talked about as the first unanimous candidate.

Heck, even his wife allegedly did them.

Catcher: Ivan Rodriguez

I-Rod once came to camp looking like he lost a whole person. His power was suddenly lost, too.

This one was never proven, but personally, I am confident enough in my assertion that he was dirty to include him on this list.

Jose Canseco said he did them, and regardless of what you may think of him, he was right about a lot of this mess.

Consider this quote, from blogcritics.org:

"Add the greatest catcher of the steroid era to the ever-growing list of players that have brought shame upon the game of Baseball with their outright deception. When asked — in an interview with the Associated Press — about whether his name appears alongside Alex Rodriguez and the other 100+ players who tested positive in the 2003 MLB steroid “survey” the only pitiful response Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez could muster was, “Only God Knows.”"

 

(Photo from ESPN.com)

Closer: Eric Gagne

Who else? Gagne was unbelievable for awhile, but now we believe it. We believe it was all a fraud.

The Mitchell Report accused Gagne of having purchased human growth hormones in 2004 while with the Los Angeles Dodgers.

In 2003, he saved 55 games, won the Cy Young Award and was named the National League Rolaids Relief Pitcher of the Year. In 2004, he saved 45 games and again won the pitcher of the year award.

After that, he broke down and was never the same.

DH: David Ortiz

David Ortiz is on this list because when he was caught back in 2009; he had this to say to ESPN:

"I never thought that buying supplements and vitamins, it was going to hurt anybody's feelings."

No, Big Poopy, that's not what hurts us, it's that you're a damn cheater and all of your accomplishments are fake.

Sorry if I've hurt your feelings.

Bench: Mark McGwire

You didn't think we could have a list like this and not include Big Mac, did you?

One of Tony LaRussa's favorites, here is the guy who supposedly drove Bonds to cheat. He was so jealous of the attention that Mac and Sosa were getting that he decided to bulk up too.

Now he's a hitting coach for the Cardinals. I wonder what he's teaching Albert.