NFL : 10 Things You Will Never See on a Football Field, EVER!

Greg HerringtonContributor IFebruary 25, 2011

FOXBORO, MA - JANUARY 16:  The New England Patriots take the field before playing against the New York Jets to start their 2011 AFC divisional playoff game at Gillette Stadium on January 16, 2011 in Foxboro, Massachusetts.  (Photo by Michael Heiman/Getty Images)
Michael Heiman/Getty Images

We have all been to the Stadium. We have sat in the stands and have all seen the same things.

Grass, field turf, goalposts, players, Gatorade, cheerleaders, referees, beer vendors, mascots, etc.

Oh, sure we all have seen some pretty bizarre stuff at a game. Strange headgear, body paint, beer hats and Howard Cosell look-a-likes.

But through my random thinking, I thought of 10 things that none of us will ever see on the field at a football game.

10. Two men trying to repair a garage door opener while being serenaded by gypsies.

9. A one-armed lumberjack trying to juggle possums while his right shoe is on fire.

8. A librarian getting a tetanus shot.

7. A group of farmers whose last names end with the letter Z, saluting a bilingual gopher.

6. A Mary Poppins impersonator riding a go-cart through a very small corn maze.

5. Four cashiers harassing a fire hydrant.

4. The song "Yellow" playing while Kenny G has his legs shaved.

3. A nearsighted Yoga instructor throwing lawn darts at a Winnebago

2. An elderly man playing nickel slots wearing a hat that says "Ochocinco."

1. A man reading a narrative on penicillin during a motocross race.


Maybe one day such things we will see..  but for now i guess we have to wait.