Have you ever wondered what goes through your girlfriend's mind when she stops dead in her tracks, her eyes glaze over and she goes into a trance while looking at that ring in the window?
That's what this is for men. Players like this only become freely available once a generation, and we too have paused and slipped into an alternative universe where this shiny jewel could be ours.
Well, at the risk of being the bearer of bad news, the parallels don't stop there. There are only so many guys who can drop five grand just to make their girl smile, and only so many teams who can throw $300 million at a player.
In case you're just back from a sabbatical in the Himalayas, Albert Pujols has reportedly cut off negotiations with the St. Louis Cardinals and plans to dip his toe into the murky waters of free agency.
While his legs dangle off the dock and you have visions of the fortunes of your team turning around by way of the hottest free agent signing in baseball history, I'll have to ask you to snap out of it.
For you, the fans of the forthcoming 10 teams, it's just not in the cards.