The Strangest Athlete Product Endorsements Ever

By (Featured Columnist) on February 2, 2011

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CHARLOTTE, NC - NOVEMBER 08:  Michael Jordan, owner of the Charlotte Bobcats, sits on the bench with Stephen Jackson #1 during their game against the San Antonio Spurs at Time Warner Cable Arena on November 8, 2010 in Charlotte, North Carolina.  NOTE TO U
Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

The Super Bowl is this Sunday, Feb. 6.

For many, the best part of the Super Bowl is going to be watching the Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers beat the living hell out of each other to win it all.

For many others, the best part about the Super Bowl won’t even take place on the field. Instead, many will tune in to see the commercials.

This got us thinking about some of the strangest athlete product endorsements ever.

25. Mike Golic, Tabasco Sauce

Banner-golic-on-tabasco-and-pizza-video_display_image

Whenever I think of Mike Golic and Tabasco sauce, I think of Dumb & Dumber.

24. Tim Tebow, Anti-Abortion

Great for anti-abortion, but this turned off a lot of people about Tim Tebow. Nobody likes to be preached to and people like even less when sports figures put themselves on one side of an unpopular topic.

23. Brett Favre, Wrangler Jeans

I just think it’s strange how Brett Favre has truly become synonymous with Wrangler Jeans. Yeah, the ads worked, but still. I laugh every time. It’s just always Favre and a bunch of guys running around with a dog playing football. I don’t know about you, but I hate playing football in jeans. Maybe I need to switch to Wranglers?

22. Tony Parker, Subway

Why is this strange? Have you seen Tony Parker? It looks like he doesn’t even eat anyways!

David Beckham, Adidas

I know what you’re thinking. How is this strange? David Beckham is a popular athlete. Adidas is a popular sports brand. It makes sense, so what gives!?

What gives?

David Beckham sucks. He’s awful. Why would Adidas want to associate with an athlete who sucks?

Oh, I get it. It’s because Adidas sucks too.

Nike all the way.

21. John Cena, Gilette

I love these commercials. But an athlete promoting razors and shaving cream? Like I’m supposed to believe they’re worried about their how smooth their face is before they go perform!?

20. Joe Torre, State Farm

I never understood Joe Torre promoting State Farm other than the relationship with MLB.

19. Coach Mike Krzyzewski, American Express

NEW YORK, NY - JANUARY 30:  Head coach of the Duke Blue Devils Mike Krzyzewski watches on against the St. John's Red Storm at Madison Square Garden on January 30, 2011 in New York City.  (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)
Nick Laham/Getty Images

Should I use AmEx just because Coach K does? Why would Coach K influence me to use a credit card?

I mean, yeah, I already use American Express. But not because of Coach K. Maybe if Mike Tyson used it…

18. Maria Sharapova, Canon

Let me get this straight. I’m supposed to believe Maria Sharapova understands how to work this technology…?

17. Donovan McNabb, Chunky Soup

I always thought somebody fat would’ve been a better spokesman…like Warren Sapp, Tony Siragusa or Charles Barkley.

16. Danica Patrick, GoDaddy

She’s not sexy. She’s annoying. She’s a cry baby. She definitely does not need help creating her own business. Danica, go away already. You’re not even good at your own sport.

15. Randy Johnson, Geico

I do love the Geico commercials, especially the Randy Johnson bit. But it’s still awkward every time I see it. I’ll gladly get into a snowball fight with Randy Johnson…

14. Dan Marino, Nutrisystem

I love it, old sports figures promoting a weight loss program. These are supposed to be the men we looked up to. Now we’re supposed to hear them talk about their weight loss issues!?

13. Patrick Ewing, Snickers ‘Patrick Chewing’

I love it. It’s creative. It’s funny. It’s awesome. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s perfect all around.

12. Shaquille O’Neil, Icy Hot

Yeah, it makes sense. Shaq is huge, and I’m sure he gets a lot of aches and pains. It’s just funny, though. Have you ever seen the commercials?

11. John Madden, Electronic Arts

He was a great coach, but the video game is more about playing than coaching. But yeah, if you want, hit me up and I’ll play you for PS3…

Milton Bradley, Milton Bradley Board Games

NEW YORK - JULY 01:  Milton Bradley #15 of the Seattle Mariners runs against the New York Yankees on July 1, 2010 at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx borough of New York City. The Yankees defeated the Mariners 4-2.  (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)
Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

Don’t Google this just yet. It’s never happened before.

Why?

Because Milton Bradley is psycho, nuts, insane, other variations of the word. He’s also trouble. Hey, that would have been a great fit. Is Trouble even a Milton Bradley board game?

Regardless, this was a match made in heaven before we realized Milton Bradley couldn’t control himself.

10. Troy Polamalu, Head and Shoulders

Of course it makes sense. Look at his hair. But still, a professional athlete promoting hair product? It’ll just never add up to me.

9. Michael Jordan, Hanes

One of the weirdest sports endorsements ever. I just like that now they have Michael Jordan being bothered in his commercials about underwear.

8. Emmitt Smith, Keith Hernandez & Clyde Frazier, Just For Men Hair Growth

Oh, how our mighty sports heroes have fallen. It hurts to see them old and gray and begging for their younger days.

7. Charles Barkley and Lamar Odom, Taco Bell

I understand Charles Barkley. He’s huge. He can eat anything.

But Lamar Odom?

Really.

Taco Bell execs sat around and went through the NBA roster list and said Lamar Odom is the guy we want to sell our Taco Bell "Box that Rox."

I don’t care about his relationship with Khloe Kardashian—this is just a weird combination.

6. Drew Brees, NyQuil

One of the funniest sponsorships ever. Drew Brees and NyQuil? Drew Brees is a machine. He doesn’t get sick.

5. Kobe Bryant, Call of Duty Black Ops

I don’t understand Kobe being in this.

Is it because soldiers sometimes came on to women? I’m joking.

But really, he wasn’t even the best fit on his own team for the commercial by the time it came out.

Ron Artest was.

Or Sasha Vujacic…

4. Karl Malone, Shape Ups

I don’t know about you, but I just always associate Shape Ups with girls trying to get firmer butts.

Who knew they were actually supposed to help your posture!? Even more, who knew they were for men and women?

I still don’t understand the relationship between Shape Ups and Karl Malone.

"The Mailman" apparently delivers Shape Ups as well as on Sundays.

3. Kobe Bryant, Turkish Airlines

Kobe Bryant is promoting Turkish Airlines for what reason? Somebody explain this to me…

2. Alex Rodriguez, Kobe Bryant, Tony Hawk & Michael Phelps, Guitar Hero

One of my favorite video game commercials ever. It’s the weirdest combination of sports figures for this type of ad. No way either of these guys plays Guitar Hero.

Tony Hawk is too busy playing his own video games.

Kobe Bryant is too busy not passing.

Michael Phelps is too busy with his bubbler.

A-Rod is too busy looking at himself in the mirror.

And you want me to believe they’re all playing Guitar Hero?

They’re all too cool to play a terrible game like Guitar Hero in the first place!

1. Peyton, Eli Manning and Venus, Serena Williams, Oreos

The best series of sports commercials ever.

Why?

They’re hysterical.

Eli Manning looks like a fool.

They seem to take it very seriously, yet stay immature.

It appeals to me.

But who would have ever though the Manning brothers and Williams sisters would have ever been in an Oreo-licking commercial? I say we get Archie and Oracene in the next one.

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