The 20 Worst Team Names In Professional Sports
This is a list of 20 teams that need to change their names immediately. The NHL All-Star game named their two teams today: Team Lidstrom and Team Staal, named after the two captains from each side. I love the idea of the pick-up style game, but HATE the names. Throughout history, professional sports franchises have undergone a shift from being named after things we can recognize to today—where team names are downright vague. Here are the 20 worst offenders...
20. New England Patriots
I have no issue at all with the name Patriots. However, I do have a problem with their location: New England. New England is made up of six different states: Connecticut, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine and Rhode Island.
One team for six states. Eww.
The Patriots are one of only two professional teams to have named themselves after a general region of the United States (Don't worry, the other is on the list too).
This team should be named the Boston Patriots.
19. Edmonton Oilers
I know, I know, the Edmonton Oilers have won five Stanley Cups.
But, it's a shame they are named after the one product that we now fight wars over. Since it appears those wars will continue forever, having a team named for oil is not very appropriate.
The Houston Oilers changed their name—your move Edmonton.
18. Cleveland Browns
The Browns were named after their coach, Paul Brown. How weird is that? Originally, they to be named the Cleveland Panthers but the rights had already been claimed. Naturally, the second choice was to name them after the coach.
We're used to hearing it, so it seems like a great name. But in reality, it's terrible. Shame their coach's name wasn't something like Paul Schwartz.
17. Buffalo Bills
Ugh. The Bills are the only team whose name is so bad that they pretend their city and their mascot are one in the same.
They were named after the famous cowboy "Buffalo Bill" Cody, yet they use a cartoon buffalo as their logo. FAIL.
16. Utah Jazz
The Utah Jazz used to be the New Orleans Jazz and I still say that naming any team the Jazz is a bad call.
I get that New Orleans is known for it's great Jazz music, but this is a terrible name for a group of men playing basketball. Jazz is a music genre, and it needs to stay there.
It's even worse when that team moves to Utah.
15. Washington Wizards
The impact of Harry Potter knows no bounds. Rumor has it the team may change it's name back to the Washington Bullets next year which is just as bad, but for different reasons.
In such a great historical city as DC, I have no idea how you could name a team "the Wizards". I guess they needed a W.
14. Colorado Avalanche
The Avalanche are the first weather-related entry. As you will see, I personally hate teams named after the weather. What's worse is that the Avalanche used to be the Quebec Nordiques that had amazing Fleur de Lis' designs on their jerseys.
The Avalanche are named after a snow storm, have a Bigfoot patch on their shoulders and their mascot is a St. Bernard. Make up your mind guys.
I blame the awful Ed Hardy revolution for the Nordiques becoming the Avalanche. Had that not happened, Ed hardy and Affliction never would have used—and ruined—the Fleur de Lis.
13. Orlando Magic
Great, more magical names. Orlando named their team the Magic because Disney World's Magic Kingdom is in Orlando.
For a professional franchise, this name is just way too PC and vague.
12. Tampa Bay Lightning
More weather. Unfortunately, this team won a Stanley Cup in 2004, so they should be allowed to keep this super boring weather related name.
Dear Tampa Bay Lightning-
Please move to Canada. You're actually wanted there.
11. Carolina Hurricanes
This is the one that personally hurts the most. I was a huge Hartford Whalers fan, so it crushed me to see my beloved Whale move to NC, change their name, their colors, and then worst of all—win a Stanley Cup in 2006.
Not only that, but they're another team in the "we love weather" club. Nice red butthole logo, guys.
10. Houston Texans
Zzzzzzzzzz. You almost can't get more vague than the Texans from Texas.
9. Colorado Rockies
Go big mountains! It's very PC to name your team after rocks. Try and hold back your excitement.
8. Oklahoma City Thunder
This team should still be the Sonics no matter where they are located. Instead they're named after weather too. Even their uniforms are horrible. If your team name doesn't obviously support a mascot, it shouldn't be named that.
7. Nashville Predators
Logo? Sabre-tooth tiger fossil. Name? Tigers? No. Predators. Yuck. It's way too general and yes, vague.
Another team that needs to move to Canada, please.
6. Atlanta Thrashers
The Thrashers are named after Georgia's state bird, the Brown Thrasher.
WHY AREN'T YOUR UNIFORMS BROWN?!!
Big missed opportunity there.
I know this is named after a real bird but it sounds like the team is named for what I do in my sleep while I'm having a nightmare.
5. Miami Heat
No obvious logo = fail. The Heat. Let's root for warmth!
A better name would be the Fireballs in a nod to their logo.
4. Minnesota Wild
You can't get more vague than a team called "the Wild". They don't even know what their logo is. It has trees and a moon inside of a panther-head silhouette. Any name would be better.
3. Columbus Blue Jackets
When Columbus entered the league they used a bee—a yellow jacket, wearing a blue jacket. The team has now started to switch it's logos over to a civil war cannon and using the name Blue Jackets in reference to Civil War soldiers from Ohio.
They're all over the place. How embarrassing.
2. Golden State Warriors
Where the hell are the Warriors from?!! They use the Golden Gate Bridge as their new and current logo which is—awesome! Let's run with that. They play in Oakland, but claim to play in Golden State.
Wanna know why you make no money on merchandising? That's why.
Just like the Patriots should be the Boston Patriots, these guys should be the San Francisco Warriors.
Bonus: Brooklyn New Yorkers
The New Jersey Nets filed for a copyright on the name Brooklyn New Yorkers and supplied this artwork.
Just like the Houston Texans, please don't name yourself after where you are! We can probably figure out where you're from by your city name.
1. Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim
First and foremost, Los Angeles is about forty miles from Anaheim so how are you from BOTH? Insanity.
Secondly, no professional team should have a name with any type of religious connotations.