I'm not a coach, I'm not an All-American athlete (unless kickball counts), and I'm not on ESPN voicing my opinion (though I would love to be, *cough *cough).
However, what I can do for you is offer a little secret that no coach, no player, no analyst, not even any Madden player has brought to your attention.
The topic: "Why have running quarterbacks still not won over our trust in the NFL?"
Now let me tell you what needs to happen in order for my request to rise to the surface. The Denver Broncos need to hire John Elway as their executive vice president of football operations, they need to keep Tim Tebow, they need to keep their number two pick in the NFL Draft, and they need to read this article.
Well guess what? They're three-fourths of the way there, just need to read my article and we're golden. Keep reading...
I'm going to ask for a little audience participation now and would like you to read this next sentence aloud with your own version of how an NFL commissioner should announce a draft pick. Go ahead: "With the second pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Denver Broncos select: Cam Newton, out of Auburn University" (Change back to your normal reading voice).
Wait, what did he just make me say? I'll give you a second to scratch your head...I don't get it, there's no way...okay let's continue:
I'm now going to ask you to please read this next part aloud with your own version of how a play-by-play announcer should announce this play: "It's first down and 10, and in the year that was supposed to be a lockout in the NFL we are instead witnessing history in Denver. Tebow in the shotgun, Newton to his IMMEDIATE left; yes that's right folks, two quarterbacks standing in one magnificent shotgun formation, or wait a second, is it two-running backs"? (Change back to your normal reading voice)
Let's call the play now, (back to your play-by-play voice):
"Tebow takes the snap, he rolls to the left, Newton's behind him trailing ready for the option pitch, Tebow flips it to Newton, Newton catches it and rolls it back to the right hand side toward the pocket, he's got Brandon Lloyd wide open down field, the throw...the catch! The 40, the 30, the 20, the 10, the touchdown Broncos score on the first play of the game!
"John Fox just got Gatorade poured on him I can't believe it! I'm so shell shocked I have just spit all over my microphone with excitement...This was a revolutionary play that will forever be remembered. We just saw a pitch from one quarterback to another quarterback for some type of option reverse flea flicker wildcat humpty dumpty kind of a play that led to a wide open receiver downfield for a touchdown throw and catch. If that isn't a mouthful then I suggest the SIX DOLLAR BURGER."
(Back to your normal reading voice again please, thanks) Now that I've got you up out of your seat and excited, please read the last part slowly.
Pass this along:
If you're an NFL fan, forward it to another NFL fan. If you're in the business of makin' business like Kenny Powers, forward that s***! If you're the cop that pulled me over two nights ago to talk to me about why Tim Tebow should stay in Denver before handing a $250 ticket to a college kid in a recession (that's me) you better go ahead and void that ticket immediately.
If this article can make enough noise through a beautiful thing called six degrees of separation (thank you Facebook), maybe my wishful thinking sees an opportunity next year.
Just to let you all know, I got a sweet press conference microphone for Christmas and I'd love to talk to someone other than youtube. I coin this the dual Quarterback formation. You are now free to move about the country.
Bye for now.