All Football Players Take Note - don't forget to lotion up those elbows cause you may make the headlines in Bleacher Report .
If you have Mike Williams (TB), then that’s the best sickness you can have. In the year of players with the same names—Mike Williamses, Adrian Petersons, Multiple Tates from Golden to Brandon, the dude from Tampa Bay stands out like Pamela leaving a commercial freezer in a wet, napkin-thin tank top.
Well, this week, he’ll nip it in the bud of your competition. Williams just came off a 96-yard performance against Detroit, and it’s safe to say he and Freeman can do it again in Seattle (I refuse to make any Sleepless In Seattle jokes. Too easy). Let’s count the reasons.
Give it to Mikey, He’ll Catch Anything
Reason No. 1—Mike Williams with Josh Freeman equals awesomeness. KISS.
Reason No. 2—Seattle’s pass defense sucks better than a mechanically altered Hoover-Dyson-Orec vacuum made of adamantium (for the non-nerds, that’s Wolverine metal).
To Britt Or Not To Britt
I’d Start Williams over these studleys:
Kenny Britt—Kenny will do great, but Mike will play greater. Kansas City’s Jekyll and Hyde pass defense can be stingy when it wants to be. They’ve kept prolific QBs under wrap—Peyton Manning, 244 yards and one interception; Sam Bradford, 181 and two interceptions; Kyle Orton, 117 yards. They’ve also given Kyle Orton 296 and four TDs, but I’m banking KC will be Dr. Jekyll at home with the AFC West championship on the line.
Sydney Rice—I really like Rice. I really do, but all the “like” in the world won’t change the fact that he has Joe Webb the wide receiver throwing to him. Whoa! Who’s next in line? The kicker, Ryan Longwell? Well, Ryan is 36 years old, and you know how the Vikings like their QBs semi-retired and dusty.
Michael Crabtree—Yeah, he plays the Rams, but if you haven’t noticed, QB Alex Smith isn’t too fond of Crabs. Must have to do with his diva performance in the beginning of the season. Look for TE Vernon Davis and WR Josh Morgan to play WR1 and WR2 yet again.
Johnny Knox—Cutler versus any teams from New York. 'Nuff said.
Chad Ochocinco—San Diego is hungry for the playoffs, and their stellar all-around defense will shut down the Bengals to ensure they’ll be there. With Mr. Interception throwing to him, Ocho’s big chance will come in the fourth quarter after the game is won. Good luck with that.
Bernard Berrian—I know this joke is tired, but there’s something to be said about commitment. I’ll stay committed, in more ways than one. Doink!
I missed last week as I was recovering from a Sing-A-Ma-Jig stuffed halfway down my throat*. The good news is I now sing in perfect harmony. If I’m wrong about Mike Williams outscoring these guys, then I will go Christmas caroling in a bleach white robe in the grittiest parts of Brooklyn at 2 a.m. But if I’m right? Better call 50 Cent to borrow his bulletproof blazer with matching bulletproof slacks and belt.
* "Fantasy Jackpot Week 14: WR Anthony Armstrong Will Strongarm His Competition" Dec. 1, 2010. Bleacher Report
About Me, Wendell "Papa Smurf" Gaymon
I’m not really a little blue hairless, half-naked leprechaun who lives in a decked out mushroom. I’m an average Joe like you, who spends his eight hours of sleep obsessing over this game we call fantasy football. You’ll find I’m a bit off-kilter with my picks, but I think that’s how you win best, picking the best players with the best matchups.