Rex Ryan Foot Fetish: 10 Reasons This Makes Him All the More Likeable
Rex Ryan has been a favorite son of the New York media, and now he will be again because he's turning into the gift that keeps on giving with allegations his wife is the star of a series of foot fetish videos.
The story broke on Deadspin.com, which features several of the videos with the woman who looks remarkably like the wife of the New York Jets head coach.
We're not here to judge, and whatever the Ryan's do with their free time is their business. Rex isn't running for office, he's the head coach of a football team.
But Ryan already gets lots of "awesome" points for the way he handles the media, and just speaks his mind.
So here are 10 reasons why this story makes Rex Ryan just that much more likable.
10. Rex Is Just A Regular Guy Who Likes To Get Freaky
Ryan always has advertised himself as an average "Joe" who is doing something he loves to do. This tape allegation only reinforces that.
How many sick freaks out there love to watch some foot fetish videos before hitting the gridiron?
Thankfully, I'll never find out the answer to that.
9. It's Not S&M
What goes on in the bedroom and what gets other people's motor running is something we're not going to dwell on too much here, but a foot fetish seems relatively harmless once you get bored one day and surf the darker corners of the Internet.
Have you ever burned your computer in horror after accidentally clicking on a page out of morbid curiosity?
Don't ever Internet surf while drunk with your buddies at 2 a.m., you'll find foot fetishes are pretty tame compared to some of the other things you'll find out there.
8. Rex Clearly Loves His Wife
If you've clicked on any of the videos and been able to get through any of them, you'll notice a male voice that suspiciously sounds like Rex. It's clear by the videos that the man, whoever he is, clearly loves the woman in the video.
Fetish aside, isn't love sweet?
7. We Don't See Rex's Feet
If there's anything to be glad about in this whole affair and applaud Rex for, he didn't decide to impose his feet upon our poor, terrified eyes.
Of course, the day is young.
6. This Could Mean An Even Bigger Sex Tape Scandal
You thought the Brett Favre-Jenn Sterger sexual harassment scandal was big news, wait until you hear what Rex has coming out next!!
(I really hope the sarcasm of that line bleeds through the screen and hope and pray it never comes to pass.)
Anyway, if you're a fan of Rex Ryan, stuff like this will keep him fodder for the New York papers for months. It's practically a license to print money.
5. To Each His Own, But
Live and let live, what other people do is their business, yadda, yadda, yadda.
The fact these videos apparently ended up on YouTube voluntarily removes a lot of the "privacy" aspects of the argument from the debate.
I know I shouldn't judge other people, but like Coach Ditka would say, "C'mon Man!!"
4. He's As Messed Up As The Next Guy
Everyone is messed up in their own way. Now we know how messed up Rex Ryan is.
See, he's just like the rest of us!!
3. We Can Make Great Internet Mashup Videos
Just think of all the great Internet Mashup videos that'll be made over the next few weeks with Rex Ryan falling in love Mark Sanchez' feet.
At least I think it'll be great. It could be really disgusting. The kind of disgusting you can't turn your head away from.
2. Watching Rex Ryan Deal With This At The Next Press Conference
If you're a fan of Rex Ryan press conferences, then you'll really like the next one he does where the reporters bombard him with foot fetish questions.
Will he play along? Will he refuse to answer anything? Will he storm out?
Either way, it'll be great fun.
1. Roger Goodell And The Personal Conduct Policy
If you really don't like Roger Goodell, then Rex Ryan just became your favorite person, because if the timeline of the posting of the tapes is to be believed, that means the Ryans posted these foot fetish videos while Rex worked with the Baltimore Ravens.
That means Ryan would be subject to the Personal Conduct Policy and that means Roger Goodell would have to watch every minute of these tapes, take questions from the media about them at some point and have to stand in front of a camera looking about as uncomfortable as a guy can look.
Whatever punishment Goodell would give to Ryan at that point would be so worth it just to see Goodell tugging at his tie and stuttering while trying to answer questions that clearly would make him run for the hills before even entertaining them.