Super Bust XLV: The Dallas Cowboys Implosion (45 Synonyms for Failure)

Mark DarketContributor INovember 11, 2010

Super Bust XLV: The Dallas Cowboys Implosion (45 Synonyms for Failure)

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    A Recurring Scene
    A Recurring SceneLisa Blumenfeld/Getty Images


    Part of speech: noun

    Definition: lack of success provides 45 synonyms of the word failure. Believe me, I counted.  It’s also quite ironic because this year's 45th installment of the Super Bowl was supposed to include the first home team host.  But as we have seen, we’ll have to continue waiting for that.   Maybe New York will finally achieve that in 2014.  They have two chances, right? We shall see. 

    Let’s examine the aforementioned synonyms of failure for those of you that doubt my ability to count.  

    abortion, bankruptcy, bomb, botch, breakdown,bungle, bust, checkmate, collapse, decay, decline, defeat, deficiency, deficit, deterioration, downfall, failing, false step, faux pas, fiasco, flash in the pan, flop, frustration, implosion, inadequacy, lead balloon, lemon, loser, loss, mess, misadventure, miscarriage, misstep, nonperformance, non-success, overthrow, rout, rupture, sinking ship, stalemate, stoppage, total-loss, turkey, washout, wreck

    To call the Cowboys 2010 campaign a failure would be a gross understatement.  It seems that any time this roster is presented with a challenge, it not only fails at meeting the challenge, it implodes.  And by implode, it's in a Texas Stadium implosion sort of way.  Maybe the dream died with the old home of the Cowboys.  Maybe it’s growing pains. 

    But, I do use the word "roster" deliberately because this group is anything but a team.  A team puts forth the maximum effort to achieve their goal.  I’m still unsure if this roster has a goal.  Almost every defensive down, there is a player giving up on the play.  On offense, whenever a 20-yard completion occurs, it is accompanied with a 10-yard penalty.  And now that Jason Garrett is at the helm, all of the three squads are in his complete control.  Scared? But, you can still hope.

    I can think of five prominent reasons this squad has ended up with the stalemate.  They are in no particular order.

Failure No. 5: Preseason Exhausted Players, Staff and Fans

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    Drink it in, this may be the last time you see these two smiling this season.
    Drink it in, this may be the last time you see these two smiling this season.Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

    The preseason was a laugher.  This multi-city tour was so distracting to the players and fans that they lost sight of the point: preparing.  The offense scored no touchdowns in the preseason.  We often downplay the importance of preseason success, but the team never recovered.  Maybe they put up too many digits on Wade's two-year extension in the offseason.  Maybe Jerry Jones was trying to conserve power on his monstrosity of a video board.  I guess I’m just jealous of a 160-foot wide television.

Failure No. 4: Secondary: Mike Jenkins and Terrance Newman, WAKE UP

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    Alan Ball, falling away from the ball...
    Alan Ball, falling away from the ball...Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

    The Cowboys secondary...every week.  During Sunday's game against the Packers, the secondary looked so slow it was like they rolled out of convalescent care. The NBC analysts pointed out how they are always on camera, giving up on plays. These guys are the youth of the team.  Jenkins made the Pro Bowl last year.  What happened? 

Failure No. 3: The Tony Romo Injury

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    Romo took the last shot they had.
    Romo took the last shot they had.Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

    Even though it was out of the Cowboys' control, the Romo injury flattened the faint vital signs this roster had left. Days before the game, Cowboys fans were headhunting.  Wade or Romo had to go.  Some said both.  Romo goes down to injury; the fans think it must be Wade's fault.  Jones agrees.  In the words of Kenny Powers, Wade, "you're f-ing out!"

Failure No. 2: Bryan McCann's Fumble on Kickoff Against Green Bay Packers.

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    Hey Wade the challenge flag is in your back pocket...oh wait.  You can't use it.
    Hey Wade the challenge flag is in your back pocket...oh wait. You can't use it.Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

    Bryan McCann was actually down on this fumble, and that is not debatable.  The replay clearly shows a knee down.   Yet, the Cowboys took a timeout earlier, which can be argued as unnecessary. The team was then officially out of timeouts for the half, leaving “lame duck” Wade, well, wading challenge-less.

Failure No. 1: The Infamous Tashard Choice Fumble Before Halftime

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    I wish they were still smiling
    I wish they were still smilingJeff Gross/Getty Images

    The infamous Tashard Choice flick/fumble right before halftime.  We all know from the comfort of our couches that Romo should have taken a knee and limited the damage.  But that's just not the Cowboy way.  You go for it.  Choice has seen very few touches since this play, which is a shame because the Cowboys running game has been on a treadmill ever since.