Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
Minnesota @ Green Bay (-3)
It couldn't have worked out any better for the Vikings last week. With a win over the error-prone Cowboys, and losses by Chicago, Detroit and Green Bay, Minnesota picked up a full game on each of its NFC North competitors. Now the 2-3 Vikes travel to Lambeau Field to face the 3-3 Packers.
"I'm sick of the ridiculous scandal surrounding Jenn Sterger," Brett Favre said. "One would think I would contradict the rumors were they untrue. I met with the NFL's Vice President of Security Milt Ahlerich on Tuesday, and until I'm advised to do so, I can't speak on the subject. When I do, I'll surely text the details and location of the press conference. Suffice it to say it won't take place at Fort Dix.
But all 'texticles' and 'she-mails' aside, my attention is centered squarely on the Packers. If I had one eye on Jenn Sterger, then I've got two on the Packers."
The Packers have lost two straight games in overtime, falling to the Redskins and Dolphins in the last two weeks.
"Overtimes can be draining," said Aaron Rodgers, "especially when you lose. So, we're hoping to win convincingly, in the allotted 60 minutes. Come Monday, we're hoping the headlines read 'Green Bay in Regulation.'
We know the Vikings are dangerous. But what's more likely? The Vikes exposing us, or themselves? Considering the controversial actions of Favre and Randy Moss through the years, it's likely we'll see total nudity.
I know fans around the country are excited about this matchup. My only advice is to keep your pants on."
Packers win, 28-27.