If there is anything we have learned about the NFL this season, it is that nobody seems to have the slightest idea of what is going to happen on a given Sunday.
That being said, a few facts stood out this weekend which hatched a few theories I believe will help the average fan and the gambling public at large.
Please enjoy my theories and observations from a nonsensical Week 5.
Parity is the word!
The Washington Redskins and Arizona Cardinals are all alone atop their divisions.
First with my local team, the Skins. It is worth pointing out that winning this division might not be quite the accomplishment we are told it is from year to year.
The NFC East stinks—you heard it here first. The Redskins have roughly three Pro Bowl caliber players on their roster, and are still beating supposedly good teams.
It defies explanation other than to give huge props to Mike Shanahan and Donovan McNabb.
As for the Cardinals, we have to admit someone has to win that division and get clobbered in the first round of the playoffs, why not the team with an undrafted rookie quarterback?
Speaking of parity, just a couple weeks removed from playing so poorly against the Philadelphia Eagles, I was rooting for this team to be contracted. Now, the Jacksonville Jaguars are tied for the lead in AFC South, the 3-2 division.
I am going to assume that the Jaguars, Texans and Titans will all go 9-7 this year with the Colts sneaking in at 10-6, as usual.
The one-win Detroit Lions are the highest scoring team in the NFC. One can't help but wonder if that franchise is simply and incurably cursed; if nothing else, I believe they might be the most entertaining team in football today.
Anyone closely watching the game between the Cleveland Browns and NFC princes, Atlanta Falcons, might realize that if Seneca Wallace doesn't get hurt, Cleveland may well have won that game—further casting doubt on the notion that there is a single decent team in the NFC.
Big props to Mike Singletary and the San Francisco 49ers for muddying up this amazing parlay: http://is.gd/fRqcw
Is it okay to admit the Dallas Cowboys stink yet? I am with the vocal minority who had it figured before the season that the Cowboys are all bluster and no substance—they are the New York Jets without talent or good coaching. Yuck.
How funny would it be if an anonymous former teammate of Brett Favre leaked to the media "oh yeah, I could recognize that disturbingly sized man region anywhere."
The luckiest teams in the NFL? An unlikely list: Kansas City Chiefs, New England Patriots, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Fransisco 49ers, Miami Dolphins and Seattle Seahawks.
What could these teams all have in common? They are the list of teams with one or fewer players on their injury list—an unbelievable blessing in a year so marred by injury.
By the way, if a completely healthy Miami Dolphins can't beat Matt Flynn, Brandon Jackson and the rest of the Green Bay Packers Infirmary this weekend, they deserve to be relegated to the UFL.
Finally, if you were to take the best coaches and players, by position, from the combined staffs of the Buffalo Bills and Carolina Panthers... I'm not convinced they would win more than four games—they are that putrid.
That being said, all of the other 30 teams can play with one another on any given day.
On a neutral site, the NFL teams have become so balanced and deeply flawed, that I could not pick a winner if my life depended on it—and neither could you.
My free advice to the gambling public: stay away until Week 10!