Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
NY Jets @ Buffalo (+4.5)
With a win over the Bills, the Jets could successfully run the gauntlet of their AFC East competitors.
In consecutive weeks, New York has taken down the Patriots and Dolphins, thanks mostly to the arm of Mark Sanchez, who has thrown for six touchdowns in the two wins.
"Speaking of 'running gauntlets,'" Rex Ryan said, "Ines Sainz had enough the first time, and she probably won't be back at practice 'asking for it.' I guess you could say 'baby got back' to Mexico.
"As for the Jets, offensively, we're where we want to be. Defensively, we're not. The absence of Darrelle Revis really changes the complexion of our defense. The important thing is we managed without him. Against Miami, the route from 'Revis Island' to victory was along 'Braylon Edwards Drive.' It's a winding road, and if you're walking it, it's tough to do it in a straight line.
"Anyway, Edwards' 67-yard touchdown catch from Sanchez was huge. Braylon's a threat to go all the way, on the field, that is, but not home, after a few drinks."
The Bills released quarterback Trent Edwards one week after he was benched in favor of Ryan Fitzpatrick. Rumors are swirling that the Bills are fielding offers for running back Marshawn Lynch.
"I see where the Jaguars were awarded Edwards off waivers," Chan Gailey said. "I'm stunned...that it's classified as an 'award.'"
Sanchez stays hot, throwing for two scores, and the Jets' defense wraps up Fitzpatrick and the Bills' offense.
New York wins, 26-13.