Haterade: Yankees, Cowboys, Lakers, and More

Jamaal FosterCorrespondent IAugust 14, 2008

We always talk about the teams we love and we have our reasons to the love them, but when I got off of work today I poured up a big glass of Haterade and decided to share my top 10 Teams / Athletes to “hate” on.

10. Oscar De La Hoya

How can anyone possibly like a guy who calls himself  “the Golden Boy”? That just sounds way too entitled.  Entitlement is un-American.  We are a nation of underdogs who raise ourselves up by our bootstraps to become what we are.

Also, you robbed Pernell Whitaker and you beat Chavez when he should’ve been retiring.

I have recently reduced my level of hate-a-tude towards you, because three blind mice must have scored that 2nd Mosley fight.  You won, hands down.

By the way, was that her fishnet or your fishnet?

9.  Kobe Bryant

It is easy to hate on Kobe because 1) His wife is way too hot, 2) He got caught cheating on this gorgeous wife with a chick that was hideous 3) How you gonna rat on Shaq? And, 4) Kobe broke up one of the best tandems in NBA history to be selfish.  “Kobe, tell my how my… tastes.”

Your performance on the “Redeem Team” could exorcise these demons and drop you off this list.

8.  Atlanta Braves

I’ve liked the Mets since 1986.  The Braves have won 14 straight division titles.  I’ve got nothing else to say.

7.  Dallas Cowboys

You are NOT “America’s Team”.  Team USA is “America’s Team.”  If you are “America’s Team” who’s team is everybody else in our NATIONAL football league? 

I guess we know who Mike Vick will be playing for when he gets out.

6.  Los Angeles Lakers

Yes, I am a proud Laker-hater.  First, are there really enough lakes in Los Angeles for that name to make sense?  Give Minneapolis its name back and take down some of those banners!  You’ve made it to too many championships and lost to the same team 9 times.  You are the Buffalo Bills of the NBA, but with more championship losses.  Come on, you couldn’t muster a title with WILT CHAMBERLAIN!

Another reason I’m “hating on” the Lakers is that NBA officials and front office favor them.  Exhibit A, Kings Vs Lakers playoffs 2002 (27 free throws in 1 quarter, that’s fishy).  Exhibit B, who in all of Haities trades Kwame Brown for Pau Gasol?


5.   Boston Celtics

Your colors are ugly, your floor makes me nauseous, your fans can infiltrate any stadium, your players are ugly (see Robert Parish, Kevin McHale, Dennis Johnson, and Sam Cassel), and you’ve got way to many people pretending to by Irish.

4.  Duke University, basketball

No explanation necessary.  Unless you have some sort of tie to Duke, there is no reason for anyone to like Duke.

3.  Yankees

How many times are you going to try and buy the World Series?  Big payroll does not equal championship.  Until baseball figures out a way to level the paying field, you will always be one of my least favorite teams.

  1. University of Michigan (b UM s)


  1. University of Notre Dame, Football

O-VER-RAT-ED.  This has proven to be bad and a good thing.  Being overrated and over respected has given you more consecutive Bowl Losses than any other Div. 1 football program and I have enjoyed every butt kicking. 

 Michigan vs Notre Dame.  The 1 time every season I pull for Michigan (I can’t believe it either).  This game will almost ALWAYS produce a national title contender and a sudden Heisman trophy candidate whether they deserve it or not (usually not).

NBC contract – this sucks!  I’m stuck watching ND vs Our Lady of the Rosary when there are some legitimate football games being played!

The Tyrone Willingham / Charlie Wiess saga.  I have to admit I was impressed by the fact they even hired Willingham.  I wasn’t mad at all that ND fired Willingham, it was quick but USC was killing him.  When they gave Charlie Wiess that HUGE contract after putting up basically the same record Ty Will had that was the some real garbage.  This is yet ANOTHER reason for me to hate Notre Dame!  And YES, that was the race card you just heard hit the table.

Honorable Mention:  Red Sox, North Carolina Basketball, and Mike Vick (that was wrong, what you did to those dogs, Mike).


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