Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
San Francisco @ Kansas City (+1)
What’s most surprising in the NFL this year, save for the 0-2 Vikings and Cowboys, the 2-0 Buccaneers, and the 34-24-38 Ines Sainz? Well, it has to be the 2-0 Chiefs, who lead the AFC West as one of the conference’s four undefeated teams.
“Exactly,” said Todd Haley. “’2-0’ sounds a lot like ‘T ‘n A.’ I assure you, if Miss Sainz came to a Chiefs practice, she would be treated with the utmost respect. In fact, we’d like to import, I mean invite, her to a practice. Our in-house travel agent, Dwayne Bowe, will gladly fondle, I mean handle, arrangements.”
Known as a great motivator, Mike Singletary may have his toughest motivational task on hand in handling the 49ers after Monday night’s painful 25-22 loss to the Saints, which dropped the Niners to 0-2.
“Motivation wasn’t a problem on Monday,” Singletary said. “We played with heart, desire, immediacy, and several other adjectives used to describe a valiant losing team. It was inspiring to see Jerry Rice put one finger in the air at halftime; it was equally as inspiring to see Ronnie Lott put half-a-finger in the air before the game.”
Alas, it wasn’t enough. But it should be against the Chiefs. I don’t smell a rat, but I do smell victory. It smells like napalm in the morning.”
San Francisco wins 19-13.
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