Jay Cutler Love Triangle: Is Kristin Cavallari Or Haley Higgins Hotter?

RM HeroldFeatured ColumnistSeptember 9, 2010

Jay Cutler Love Triangle: Is Kristin Cavallari Or Haley Higgins Hotter?

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    Jay Cutler: the man, the myth, the legend. It seems that Mr. Cutler might be stuck in a love triangle of sorts with two actresses.

    Or maybe be one actress and one reality star.

    But then again one is definitely a reality star and one might be a model and an aspiring actress.

    Anyway, if Cutler isn't concentrating on the season that is about to start, why should we?

    Here's the tale of the tape as to who is best for Jay and his career.

Bigger Celebrity: Haley Higgins?

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    This is supposedly the third member of the love triangle. She is a model and an actress, (she's been in flicks such as Marley and Me and Sirens of the Caribbean... hmm.)

    The weird thing is, she doesn't have many pictures online.

    You need pics online if you are a performer or if you get caught in salacious trysts.

Bigger Celebrity: Kristin Cavallari?

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    She is a reality veteran, first with Laguna Beach then as a member of The Hills. People who don't know fake reality soap operas know her name.

    She has also done some scripted acting and she has loads of pics on line.

Winner: Kristin Cavallari

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    This wasn't even close. If Jay is looking to do the celebrity girlfriend thing he has to stick with KC.

    Even Perez Hilton would agree on that.

More Sex Appeal: Haley Higgins?

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    I admire the attempt on Ms. Higgins's part.

    But we can't see her face in the pic and though it is artistic and provocative, she has no tats to prove that it's her.

    A good start, nonetheless.

More Sex Appeal: Kristin Cavallari?

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    We know this is her, and she proudly looks in the camera.

    Notice the slight head tilt.

    True professional.

Winner: Kristin Cavallari

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    Man, this is turning into a blowout. But again, you have to hand it to Ms. Cavallari.

    I hope Jay is reading this.

    Or prepping for the game. Whichever.

Kardashian Winning Potential?

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    This one is harder to quantify. But we all know if you are going to go with a reality WAG, it should either be a Kardashian or one that is blessed by one of the sisters.

    And if she is, championships will fall from the sky. But if you break up with one, disaster strikes and people ask for trophies back.

    What? Too soon?

    Anyway, as you can see here, KC is blessed by the Kardashians, because she actually knows them.

Kardashian Winning Potential?

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    Sigh.

    Well, she knows Owen Wilson. And if this was Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, Owen has been at Laker Games with Bacon and Kim Kardashian, so she has the link that way.

    It's not looking good for Haley.

    Although she doesn't look bad.

Winner: Kristin Cavallari

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    Man, this was not how I thought it would end up. I feel like Marv Albert trying to make a Knicks game interesting when they are down by forty.

    Hey, look! Is that Isiah Thomas in the stands?

    This was an old fashioned beat down.

    Jay, the choice is yours.

    The girl who hangs out with...

Runner Up: Haley Higgins

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    ...Owen Wilson and who ever else he hangs around with.

    Or...

Overall Winner: Kristin Cavallari

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    KC, the celebrity and arguably the hotter of the two.

    Or you can see if you can keep dating both.

    That would work for me.

    Good luck, Jay.

    And say hello to Ndamukong Suh for me this weekend.