NFL Picks and Predictions for Week 1 are here.
That means another glorious NFL season is upon us.
So what better way to get the season started than with a round of picks and predictions for each Week 1 game....in limericks.
Before we're inevitably disappointed by our favorite players and coaches, outraged by various officials, and depressed by our underperforming fantasy rosters, give these picks and limericks a read, and don't hesitate to contribute your own limericks in the comments below.
Go to the next slide to get started on the picks.
These teams had a dumb Twitter war
It made headlines, but the tiff was a bore
For Shiancoe's sake,
Favre's ankle best not ache
(Shiancoe's been caught with his pants down before)
The Giants' new stadium is big and bold.
Let's hope it brings back their defense of old.
Matt Moore's skill is all myth,
Although he still has Steve Smith.
No way Eli lets his team fold.
Matt Ryan hit a sophomore slump.
But he's not some suspended chump.
Dennis Dixon has it tough,
His O-line looks rough.
The Steelers will get a week 1 thump.
Many fans can watch this on DirecTV.
But this is not the game they want to see.
The Browns feature Harrison, Jerome
Plus overpaid Jake Delhomme.
And they'll still win 21-3.
Get ready, because coverage will be blown.
That means scores for Wayne, Clark and Garcon.
Except for the Super Bowl goof.
Look for No. 18 to be back in the zone.
A big question facing the Pats' attack
Is "Who is their lead running back?"
Plus Moss is upset,
(Not that he's in debt)
The home crowd gets this team back on track.
The Bills have lacked an offensive pillar.
But now they have much-hyped C.J. Spiller.
Fans will have their eyes peeled,
When he's in the backfield.
But Miami wins in a game that's not much of a thriller.
Chris Johnson won't have the game you'd expect.
Since the Raiders' defense is far from suspect.
Oakland now has Jason Campbell,
And he knows how to scramble.
So the Raiders have a chance? Incorrect.
Tim Tebow? Fans can't get enough.
Although Orton's proved he's pretty darn tough.
The Jags' offense really stinks,
Their fans should consume a lot of drinks.
Especially given MJD's bad rotator cuff.
Bradford is starting, the Rams have revealed.
Steven Jackson should be fully healed.
Anderson will have bad spells,
But he can count on Beanie Wells.
And Arizona wins on the Rams' field.
Niner fans will give it to you straight.
They're not scared of Carroll, Forsett or Tate.
The NFC West is weak,
A loss would be bleak.
Plus Singletary would be absolutely irate.
Folks tie the Detroit Lions to losing.
But the Bears' D is no longer bruising.
With a kick from Jahvid Best,
Stafford can handle the rest.
And Jay Cutler picks? Always amusing.
Kevin Kolb's stomach must be in knots
Replacing McNabb is one of many subplots
Green Bay's already been crowned,
As Super Bowl bound.
Expect lots of yards -- lots and lots.
A new era officially begins.
McNabb now leads the Redskins.
The Dallas offense: a mess
But they do have weapons in excess.
And Jerry Jones' Super Bowl patience still thins.
The Jets are getting hit with a lot of smack.
And the Ravens will be on the attack.
If the Jets stop Ray Rice,
A few scores should suffice.
And they'll deserve that "Hard Knocks" snack.
No matter what year, what time, or what day
Arrowhead is a very tough place to play.
KC's backs have luster
With Charles, Jones and McCluster
But Rivers is a great QB who's here to stay.