Fantasy Football Names: The 50 Funniest of 2010

Ross LipschultzAnalyst ISeptember 7, 2010

Fantasy Football Names: The 50 Funniest of 2010

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    Mary Ann Chastain/Getty Images

    The NFL season is only a few days away from it’s highly anticipated start, and everyone knows what that means.

    It’s fantasy time.

    Fantasy Football has swept the nation faster than a series against the Baltimore Orioles. Almost every sports website offers some kind of league, allowing amateurs and newbies to get in on the joy.

    The experts, on the other hand, will see you in Vegas.

    Sorry, strippers. With football starting Thursday, it’s gonna be a slow weekend.

    But whether you are a veteran or a rookie in the game, you still need to name your team. Should it be basic? Rude? Lewd?

    That’s up to you. However, if you are interested in some hilarious choices, look no further. Some of these team names will have your league mates learning what it actually feels like to LOL.

    Now, just pray they don’t type it.

    Oh, wait...

    Follow me on Twitter and read more at L.A. Sports Examiner.

50. To Hell in a Hank Baskett

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    Chris Graythen/Getty Images

    Not only is this a good team name, but it's also an excellent way to describe the Super Bowl XLIV to Colts' fans.

    What, too soon?

49. The Karate Kitna

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    Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

    For all the playing time Kitna will have this year, he could use a new hobby.

    Maybe he can have his Black Belt test in the new Cowboys Stadium.

48. Flacco Seagulls

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    Larry French/Getty Images

    This haircut will make even the hardest of men cry of laughter.

    And if Flacco picks up this 'do, you know your team is destined for glory.

47. Texas Chainsaw Massaquoi

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    Jamie Squire/Getty Images

    Playing in Cleveland is so bad, don't be surprised if Massaquoi makes his own sequel.

    Just don't go after my aunt. She was in the original.

46. Iupati Like It's 1999

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    Scott Boehm/Getty Images

    Break out the Tamagotchis and Pokémon cards, because it's a blast from the past!

    And if you don't like the name, try telling Iupati that.

    He'll probably eat you.

45. Show Me Your TD's

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    If your league is for enough money, she just might.

    Unless you're a Cowboys' fan.

44. Forgetting Brandon Marshall

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    Denver Broncos fans should be required to name their teams this.

    They just wish they could be Forgetting Josh McDaniels instead

43. Orton Hears a Who

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    Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

    Dr. Seuss doesn't get nearly enough love in the sporting world.

    Well, unless you tailgate with Green Eggs and Buffalo Wings like I do.

43. John David Booty Call

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    Booty definitely wishes he stayed in college for a lot longer.

    The girls for a starting QB at USC are infinitely better than those for a third stringer in Houston.

41. L.T.'s Illegal Contact

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    Even Deion looks concerned.

    And that's saying something.

40. Romosexual Tendencies

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    Bob Levey/Getty Images

    With the terrific babes Romo has dated in the past, it's clear he has none of these tendencies.

    Sadly, he will always remember for his fumbled balls against Seattle.

39. Big Ben Her Over

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    It's hard to make fun of Roethlisberger the day his teammates no longer want him to be a captain.

    Wait, sorry. I meant "ridiculously easy."

38. Addai in Your Sleep

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    Just a cruel message for the teams who dare challenge your studly roster.

    Nothing more, nothing less.

37. Burrested Development

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    A great show combined with Burress' hilarious escapades makes this name gold.

    More importantly, however, is why Plax is doing Blue Steel in the picture.

36. DeShaun's Foster Kids

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    Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

    Jokes about illegitimate children and athletes never get old.

    And if you don't like it, go pay their child support.


35. Ahman the Inactive List, Again

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    Green was a big fan of the injury bug.

    Sadly, this name comes with a ton of bad karma. So hopefully you aren't Buddhist.

34. Scratching Your Cotchery

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    A man's name for a man's team in a man's activity.

    Just keep it private.

33. Bros Before Shiancoes

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    It's Man Rule No. 1.

    Never abandon friends for tight ends from Minnesota.

    Except if they look like this.

32. Offconstantly

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    Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

    This name doesn't really make sense on it's own.

    During trash talk, however, it's genius.

    Why? Because no one can beat Offconstantly.

31. Tate That Doughnut

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    The ex-Notre Dame stud made the news with his pastry theft over the summer.

    Translate his effort to your fantasy team, and you've got a winner.

    Or a bunch of criminals.

30. Oh My God, They Killed Henne!

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    Slight bias here, since South Park is a personal favorite.

    Remember, don't draft Chad Henne with this name. You won't feel as bad if you end up being right.

29. I Dream of Mangini

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    No amount of plastic surgery will make Mangini look like Barbara Eden in her heyday.

    However, plastic surgery has made Eden look worse than Mangini.

28. Armed Schaubbery

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    Let's go out on a limb and say Schaub will never be accused of robbery anytime soon.

    But if Schaub falls past the sixth round in your draft, be prepared to be accused.

27. Pimpin' Ain't Breesy

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    Actually, according to "I Know Black People," pimpin' can be easy.

    Once you win your league, you will know what I mean.

26. Body by Mangini

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    Never wish this upon anyone.

    Manboobs are disgusting.

25. Drivin' with Donte'

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    Okay, maybe not with him. Try staying a few lanes away.

    Even if it's at a Go Cart track.

24. Travis Henry's Kids

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    Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

    When I was little, I always wished I had enough brothers to field competitive sports teams on our own.

    With nine kids with nine different women, Henry's offspring are almost there.

23. Ease It In, Don't Forsett

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    Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

    This isn't just a great fantasy football name.

    It's great life advice, too.

22. Boldin the Beautiful

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    Larry French/Getty Images

    Any time combining soap operas and football is an option, it must be done.

    Sadly, there's no last name close enough to "Degrassi" for a pun.

21. Revis and Butthead

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    The name works on so many levels, and I haven't started on his clothing choices.

20. The Guns of Hochuli

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    Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

    This guy clearly wishes he was playing the sport he watches.

    Sound like someone you know?

19. What Would Jones-Drew?

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    Doug Benc/Getty Images

    Atheist football fans must pick this team name.

    And ex-Christians should as well, because their WWJD bracelets still make sense.

18. I'm Thinkin' RBs

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    Many fantasy footballers should be thinking about running backs, considering they are some of the biggest contributors.

    Sadly, the only running back you will find at Arby's is LenDale White.

17. Eli, the Other White Manning

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    Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

    The younger Manning gets as much love as a redheaded stepchild.

    With this team name, you can show Eli you aren't just a chicken fan.

16. Sippin' on Ginn and Juice

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    Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

    Snoop Dogg references are always good in my book.

    Sadly, receivers who constantly under-impress are not.

15. Maclin on Chicks

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    This can be a team name and a motto for life.

    Just don't be like Maclin's Eagles.

    Actually win something.

14. I'm Bringing Hasselbeck

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    If your sexy looks anything like this guy, you have my condolences.

13. All Avant for Christmas

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    All I want for Christmas is to never rely on Jason Avant for fantasy points.

    Or anything, for that matter.

12. Pacman's Rain

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    It's fairly obvious that Pacman has some of the most expensive rain in the entire world.

    Hopefully, your players don't follow the behavior of the team's namesake.

11. Peyton Makes It Wayne

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    Doug Benc/Getty Images

    Funny? Yes.

    True? Yes.

    Rap Reference? Yes.

    It has it all.

10. Casselblanca

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    Humphrey Bogart's movies are absolutely fantastic, and this name reminds me of one of his finest films.

    Plus, it also means you shouldn't draft Matt Cassel.

    Which is always good.

9. My Johnson + Her Bush = A Crabtree

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    There's plenty of Johnsons and Bushes in the NFL.

    But, luckily, only one case of Crabtree.

8. It's On Like Ndamukong

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    This may not be funny to the average fan.

    But I use this saying all the time, and so should you.

7. Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe

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    Hawaiian ukulele classics should be played every time one of your players scores.

    Just make sure it's played by this guy.

6. Larry Csonka and the Chocolate Factory

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    Andy Lyons/Getty Images

    C'mon, its obvious you want to see Gene Wilder and Zonk parade through the chocolate factory.

    Don't worry, your best running back won't become a giant blueberry midseason if you don't pick this name.

5. Codeine Makes Me Jolly

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    Jamie Squire/Getty Images

    Players who face felony drug charges deserved to be mocked in fantasy football.

    Sadly, JaMarcus Russell puns are not nearly as funny as this one.

4. Kibbles and Vicks

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    This will never get old.

3. Snakes on a Reggie Wayne

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    A cult classic, and an amazing movie.

    Combine it with a sensational wideout, and the team is due for victory.

2. Sick and Tired of All Your Craphonso

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    Craphonso Thorpe has one of the worst names in the NFL.

    Which immediately gives him one of the best in fantasy.

1. Do Us All a Favre and Retire

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    Seriously, please do.

    Another summer of this fiasco, and I may have to cancel my cable package.

    Who's with me?

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