Vikings Preview: Why The Vikings Won't Be Winning The Super Bowl This Season

Unlike fans much older than myself, I haven't been around that long to truly experience the full heartbreak that our Minnesota Vikings have produced over the years. 

My only accounts came from "Wide left" in 1998, "the New York massacre" in 2002, and what ever you want to call the 2009 season's NFC championship game.

Already enough heartbreak for me. 

Now, I'm going to tell you why the Vikings won't be going to Dallas for Super Bowl XLV.

My dad tells me that my late grandfather just wanted to see the Vikings win one Super Bowl. He witnessed the heart breaking Super Bowl losses in 1970, 1974, 1975, and 1977. Like many of you, he always held out hope that one day the Vikings would be world champions but it never came to be for him.

I think fans of the Vikings are one of the most optimistic fan bases in sports today. We always think that we're going to the Super Bowl or at least make a serious push to make it to the dance. Year after year for the past decade or so, we've always been one piece of the puzzle short. 

So, I'm going to say it right here for all of you to read again. The 2010 Vikings will not be booking a February flight to Dallas.

Why?

I’ll tell you why.

For the second time in as many seasons, we have a Super Bowl caliber offense AND defense. We’re expected to be one of the top teams in the NFL yet again. 

However, when we were this complete in the 1970’s and last season, we still couldn’t get the job done.

It won’t be any better in 2010 folks.

Look at our quarterback, he can barely get out of bed for crying out loud. He’s 41 years old. Heck, in 14 years, he’ll be eating at Perkins at a discounted price. Count 2009 as a fluke right now.

On the other side, our pass defense is completely banged up to the point where we're going to be relying on Lito Sheppard. Teams will be racking up passing yard easier than owning a buffet frequented by Pat Williams. 

Even worse than both of those, we have a punter who plays “Guitar Hero” better than he kicks a football.

As for the offensive line, do I even have to mention anything?

Not to mention, our running back treats the football like a slimy mutated squid . He's afraid to hang on to the football for crying out loud.

And to wrap it all up, we have a head coach who would have problems coaching while playing electric football. Heck that same 41-year-old QB didn't even listen to him on occasion and doesn't even like him.

So let’s just call the season a failure now and get ready for hockey and basketball season. Tons of promise between the Wild and Timberwolves.

It’ll prevent even more heartache.

Trust me on this one, 2010 isn’t going to be the year nor is 2011, 2012, or any time before pig’s take flight. We’re the fans of the biggest choke artists this side Bill Buckner and the Chicago Cubs.

See you in 2011.

(A little reverse psychology never hurt! Let’s book our flights to Dallas, baby!)