Sports Irreverence From The Other Tip of the Goldberg
Hiroki Kuroda (pictured) came very close to no-hitting the Phillies last night, besting Roy Halladay in a 3-0 Dodgers win. He pitched 7.2 innings of one-hit ball, losing his bid in the eighth on a clean single by Shane Victorino.
All this has me wondering whether you are having any trouble distinguishing your Hideki's from your Hiroki's? (To say nothing of your Hideo's and your Karaoke's.)
Don't worry: It's a common problem, and I'm here to help. I don't want you to make the same mistake I once did.
Yes, I once dated a Japanese woman who was a huge baseball fan. She was angry at me and yelled that I "could not even tell my Hideki's from my Hiroki's." This was, I learned, the equivalent of not knowing whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.
Stung by this affront to my masculinity--and my baseball savvy--I tore up an origami sculpture of hers that she had been working on for months.
Mieko (alias for protection) dumped me, and I haven't been able to even look at a bowl of sushi ever since.
Which brings us here, my friends.
I have prepared a little quiz to see how well you know your Hiroki's, Hideki's and Hideo's--all of whom have pitched in the major leagues. This will be good for your baseball soul, and may even improve your relationships.
Let this quick, fun quiz begin!