Chris Carpenter is a Street Fightin' Whiney Little Girl

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Chris Carpenter is a Street Fightin' Whiney Little Girl
Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images
Carpenter Tells Astros To Back Off, "I am from the tough streets of Exeter."

On Friday, St. Louis Cardinal pitcher, Chris Carpenter was asked by an Associated Press journalist to share his thoughts on the fine he was handed by the commissioner's office for Tuesday nights, now infamous, donnybrook in Cincinnati.

Proving Brandon Phillips' comments correct for at least one Cardinal player, instead of addressing the question he took the opportunity to whine more about Reds pitcher, Johnny Cueto.

Carpenter says, "If you did that on the street, he would end up being…That’s serious stuff.”

Really Chrissy? 

Did you learn this growing up on the tough streets of Exeter, New Hampshire?  Playing ball in a small town where the median family income is over $63 thousand?  Wow, Chrissy, you must've had a rough childhood.

You should share those experiences with the world and take some of your down time to write songs for a gangsta rapper.

The fight can easily be broken into two separate campaigns. 

Campaign I, being with the initial Brandon Phillips and Yadier Molina face-to-face that was quickly broken up before fuses were seriously ignited.

The more serious Campaign II being where you, Chrissy, went after the major peacemaker from Campaign I, Scott Rolen. 

Cueto ended up pinned against a wall and the net that protects fans from sharply hit foul balls, with about 50 grown men, including yourself, converging on him. He did what any sensible man would do—protect himself...Any way possible.

Chrissy, your street smart mentality obviously knows this. Why would you say this:

"All the yelling, the talking, the pushing, the fighting and everything else, there was nobody throwing punches, there was nobody doing that stuff.

"I don’t care how scared you are or what the deal is. Whatever excuse you have, you don’t start doing that.

“He can say whatever he wants. He came in there with intent to do something from the back side.”

Chrissy, let's say you are at a concert and an inadvertent stampede of people begins, would you not do anything to free some space between yourself and the crowd?

Bingo, got it man. That's not proper street fighting etiquette down in the streets of the "03833."

And, dude, it's so cool the way you are showing off your battle scars.

Chrissy sure hope you set your catcher straight and taught him how to act street tough, Exeter-style, yo.

You must have been so ashamed when, "(Jason) LaRue smiled and declined comment when asked about his Cueto’s suspension."

Maybe LaRue, was still suffering the affects of the concussion which has landed him on the 15-day DL.

And anyone who critiques your saying, “I come home and try to explain to my son ‘Why is Scott Rolen attacking me? Why is everybody pushing you into the net,”’ has stepped foot in New Hampshire, much less the violent town of Exeter.

Explaining that to your seven-year old son must have been...There are no words, bro.

No one from outside of Exeter would understand.

Chrissy, like anybody who knows those tough streets in small town New Hampshire, we are all down with you.

You know the Exeter rules. Don't you dare cut those finger nails before the Labor Day weekend series against Cueto and the Reds. 

Keep it real dawg!

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