What a beautiful day. Driving down I-5 in 80deg weather, listening to Godsmack on the radio, wondering what I was going to write about in my never-ending quest to enrage the fans of my division rivals, the Broncos, the Chiefs and the Chargers. I recently hated-on Tim Tebow for no other reason than the fact that he is a Bronco. I didn’t go after his religious preference, I didn’t go after some of the comments he’s made, (which would have been all too easy). I simply thanked the Broncos for drafting him, which keeps him out of the Raiders locker room. Some of the Broncomaniacs were absolutely livid.
I’m thinking “this is way too easy”, I didn’t even insult the guy, and it was like I was the anti-Christ! (Don’t get me wrong, I loved every second of it).
There was a theme to the Broncos fans insults though.
1- How dare I….., You’re a……, Blah, blah, blah.
2- When are you going to write one about Phillip Rivers?
Now seems as good a time as ever.
My research on Phillip “Cry me a” Rivers led to an UNBELEIVABLE amount of articles written how much of a, (and theses are quotes), crying, whining, douchbag he is.
The word “Douchbag” was used in 5 different articles I read in less that a 30 minute span.
You mean it’s not just Raider Nation that hates him? This is waaayyy too easy!
He cried when he lost to the Pats, TWICE. There is no crying in football unless you win the Super Bowl, and we all know he hasn’t done that!
His childish behavior pointing to the scoreboard against the Broncos. Again, don’t get me wrong, I loved watching Cutler and Rivers go at it. I hated them both. Now that Cutler isn’t a Bronco anymore, he gets a pass in my book.
Champ Bailey, one of the only Broncos you would be hard pressed to get me to say anything bad about, “hard for me to admit because he’s still a Bronco”, had this to say about Rivers;
“He’s not a respectable guy right now, because you talk too much trash and do this and that, but you’re really not a great player in this league right now. You’re surrounded by great players, buy you’re not a great player. I think he needs to understand where he stands in this league. They’ve go a lot of classy guys on that team. He kind of represents the classless guy on that team. He’s definitely lost my respect”.
Wow, good one Champ.
I don’t have to write anything, It’s all been written for me. I’d jump right on the “He’s a whining little bitch” bandwagon if there were any room, but the wagon is full.
The band however, they continue to play the Chargers theme song. The song I’m listening to driving down I5.
It’s somewhat of an urban legend that Sully Erna of Godsmack wrote the song “Crying like a Bitch” about fellow rock star Nikki Sixx. I argue Erna wrote it about Phillip Rivers.
“Strut on by like a king
Telling everybody they know nothing
And long live what you thought you were,
And time ain’t on you side anymore
And so you tell me I
Can’t take my chances,
But I told you one too many times,
AND YOU WERE CRYING LIKE A BITCH
I’m tougher than nails
I can promise you that.
Step out of line
And you get bitch-slapped back
And you can run
Your little mouth all day
But the hand of god
Just smacked you back into yesterday
And you wonder why
No one can stand you
And there’s no denying,
YOU WERE CRYING LIKE A BITCH”
I couldn’t have said it better.