Seeee-Ya: Why the New York Yankees Won't Win Another Title This Decade

An event occured in the Bronx last week that hasn't happened in decades; One that if not signaled the decline of the Bombers, it surely preceeded it.

No, it wasn't the death of Mr. Steinbrenner, though some might say that may play into it.

No, Rather than the rudder being taken from the ship, it was a small but mighty hole that burst the Yankees hull:

They didn't get their man.

And with the Rangers picking up Cliff Lee, one of the top picks of the trade season, the precident has been set for the one thing unimaginable: The New York Yankees losing out on the World Series for the next nine years.

How do I know?

I do. Just trust me, ok?

You see, the fact is the New York Yankees are easily the most spoilt team on the North American continent. Not getting something they wanted for the first time since Disco means that, not only do they lose out on a needed arm in a tight AL East race, but that they also have to completely change “the plan” for the remainder of the year because not getting their man is never ever EVER part of “the plan”... and it happened.

What is “the plan”, you query?

Well, “the plan” is their blueprint for winning and always has been. It is a long thought out, carefully devised strategy that employs utlizing both the minors, up and coming pitchers and all the chewing tobacco they can muster in order to outplay the teams in their way...

Of course, you know I'm kidding because the only plan the New York Yankess follow is this:

Throw “it” at it.

The great majority of the time the “it” they throw is money. A couple million here. A few bazillion there. Some other times though, as in the Cliff Lee case, they throw prospects or futures or the latest shiny “the-next-big-thing” at teams in order to get what they want. And before the advent of Desktop Computers it worked.

Of course, if any of these teams ever actually stopped and thought to themselves 'wait, why do the Yankees want to send us the-next-big-thing when they could use that next-big-thing themselves?... Unless, he ISN'T that next-big-thing in the first place!'

Which is, of course, exactly what the Seattle Mariners did. And Cliff Lee went to Texas. And in doing so, woke the rest of Major League Baseball up to the reality that they don't actually HAVE to take whatever the Yankees are offering.

This awareness, of course, is like the Emperor waking to find that, yes indeed, he is naked. And because the rest of Major League Baseball have too woken from their slumber, the next thing they'll reject will be their money.

And the Yankees without Money is like Fish without Gills.

The rest of MLB will realize 'hey wait, WE can make our own money by actually winning and, Y'know, making our own teams better... we don't need the Yankees money. We'll make our own!'

And, thus, in rejecting the Yankee greenbacks, the rest of the MLB will have thrown off the chains of Yankee oppression to the shouts of every baseball fan west of the Bronx.

And someone else will win. For nine years.

Why nine?

Because it only takes one team to forget that they too can make money on their own.

And a decade is a long time to remember.