Fantasy Football 2010: The Best Funny Fantasy Team Name Ideas
In today's society, it seems as if we are always crunched by time and can never accomplish all we set out to do.
Whether it is hitting the gym every day or remembering to walk the dog, there are several things that just seem to take a backseat to the things that really matter in life, such as your faith, family, and career.
Of course, for many sports fans, the virtual world has taken over our lives. Over the past few years, games such as fantasy football have become increasingly popular and in high demand.
In fact, matters have become so serious that it's become an addiction and a staple of day-to-day life.
Leading up to our oh-so-important draft day, we must invest hours in developing the ultimate strategy. Luckily for us, ESPN often ingeniously decides to dedicate their front page to assisting us in our dreams.
Who cares if we have a project due the next day? Ensuring that our lineup is perfect is a much higher priority. We all need to know the latest player stats, depth chart adjustments, and injury updates. Failing to receive this information could ultimately result in our doom.
Sound silly? Well, in some cases, it's the reality.
On to a much more serious topic: One of the most crucial decisions one will make each year—more important than paying those foolish taxes—is your beloved team name.
Just like our personalities, our team name tells us a lot about who we are as a person. Sometimes, for the creativity-lacking souls out there, it can be tough to come up with a cool and funny original one.
Therefore, here are my top funny suggestions.
Forgetting Brandon Marshall
This is the one and only team name I actually came up with by myself. I think it'll be a great one for Denver Broncos fans.
Over the offseason, the team traded away their Pro Bowl WR to the Miami Dolphins in exchange for two second round draft picks. Now, their offense is left lacking a legitimate No. 1 receiver.
For those of you who don't recognize it, it comes from the movie titled Forgetting Sarah Marshall. In case you're wondering, it stars Jason Segel and Kristen Bell and is from the creators of The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Superbad.
The Brady Bunch
A great name if your star player is Tom Brady.
Another year removed from his ACL tear, he should be poised for another great season.
By the way, The Brady Bunch was a popular T.V. show during the early 1970s. Realize that, despite the spoof, Tom Brady was never a part of the actual show.
Cry Me A Rivers
Similar to the prior, I suggest this name if your team is led by Philip Rivers.
Rivers is projected to have another fantastic season with the Chargers and is considered one of the top fantasy quarterbacks.
"Cry Me A River" is a popular song that was originally written by Arthur Hamilton in 1953. Artists such as Aerosmith, Justin Timberlake, and Michael Bublé have all made cover versions of the tune.
A$$ Kicking Is My Forte
This is actually one of my personal favorites.
Matt Forte, the Chicago Bears' starting RB, is expected to rush for at least 1,000 yards.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, forte can mean "strong," "loud," or one's "specialty."
Peyton Makes It Wayne
Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne form one of the best aerial duos in the league and are great options in terms of fantasy production.
If you happen to draft both of them, consider this name.
One is "making it rain" when he foolishly throws money in the air, generally in a club. Why anyone would do that is beyond me, but that's besides the point.
The phrase has been made popular by pop star Lil Wayne. No, I don't consider him a "rapper."
1st Down Syndrome
While I think it's completely inappropriate, many find it to be amusing.
In this context, it would refer to a team constantly moving the chains on offense. Yet Down syndrome is a chromosomal disorder that results in mental retardation.
Pimpin Ain't Breesy
Who ever said pimpin' was easy? Unless your name is Drew Brees, that is.
Brees continues to play at a high level, proving to us why he's one of the game's elite quarterbacks. Expect at least another 30-TD and 4,000-yard season from the Super Bowl MVP.
"Pimpin Ain't Easy" is the title of a popular Big Daddy Kane hip-hop song.
Donte Drink & Drive
I can't stress that principle enough.
For those of you who aren't aware, Donte' Stallworth was suspended indefinitely last year for a guilty plea to DUI manslaughter.
He was reinstated this offseason and is currently a member of the Baltimore Ravens.
My Vick In A Box
A simply hilarious name based on a hilarious video.
Even though he is no longer a legitimate fantasy choice, he continues to be a viable option for possible team names.
As I referenced earlier, this name is based on the popular Saturday Night Live clip called "My Di*k in a Box."
Here's another nasty one many of you might find clever. All you have to do is start off with "Off" and can follow it with things such as:
"All Day, Every Day"
"With His Mom"
That way, even when you get "beaten," it'll sound funny.
For those of you who are too young to fully comprehend this joke, don't worry...you'll enjoy it sooner or later.
Do Us All A Favre And Retire
Isn't that what a lot of us want?
Favre will be 41 this October and still remains one of the league's top quarterbacks.
Moreover, he's got an extremely cool name.
Something To Addai For
Addai used to be one of the top selections in fantasy drafts. Even though his production has slipped a little, he is still considered a quality No. 2 choice.
This name comes from the song "Something To Die For" by the alternative rock band Carolina Liar.
Sippin on Ginn n Juice
Even if he may not be a quality fantasy producer, he still makes for a cool team name.
Ted Ginn Jr., a former first round draft choice, was traded to the San Francisco 49ers this year. He will have a chance to compete for the No. 2 receiver spot and will handle punt return duties.
This name is from the hit hip-hop song "Gin and Juice" by Snoop Dogg.
Bill Belichick's Video Rentals
Even though he's not directly related to fantasy, it's still a great name.
Bill Belichick, one of the greatest coaches of the modern era, will always be considered a cheater. Even though many of us have already forgotten about it, he is tied to the Patriots' "Spygate" scandal.
What happened was that the organization was caught for taping their opponents' signals and using it to their advantage. Several people are skeptical as to if the Patriots won their three Super Bowls in the early 2000s fairly or not.
Big A$$ TDs
Sadly, it took me a little while for me to understand the joke.
The trick, of course, is to sound it out slowly. After that, you realize that it's simply raunchy, yet innocent fun.
Sure, it may be a little inappropriate. However, that doesn't make it any less funny.
As a result of Anquan Boldin's departure, Steve Breaston is expected to be the No. 2 receiver for the Arizona Cardinals.
Michael Vick, a former Pro Bowl QB, will always be linked to his felony involving illegal dogfighting. Hence, we have the term "conVICKt."
Michael Vick is set to be the Philadelphia Eagles' backup quarterback behind starter Kevin Kolb.
This title actually fits him perfectly and has become very common. In fact, I've even seen fake Falcons jerseys with the phrase on the back.
Mark’s Dirty Sanchez
Another perverted name you can consider if you've got Mark Sanchez on your team or are simply a Jets fan.
A "Dirty Sanchez" is a sexual act. Beyond that, you'll have to find out on your own.
Who says girls can't play fantasy sports and be our fantasies at the same time?
This is a perfect title for those female football fans out there.
As I hope most of you are "familiar" with, Victoria Secret is a popular women's lingerie store.
Great name if your strategy is to have a running back-heavy roster.
Russian Roulette is a lethal game of chance in which you put a single bullet in the gun chamber, spin it, point it to your head, and pull the trigger.
Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe
Another somewhat tricky one to figure out.
Dwayne Bowe is a quality No. 2 receiver in terms of fantasy production. The key will be whether or not he's healthy for the entire season.
"Somewhere Over The Rainbow" is a classic ballad song that was featured in the popular movie The Wizard of Oz.
Favre Dollar Footlong
A name with Favre in it seems to be very popular simply because it can be interpreted in several different ways.
"Five Dollar Footlong" is the slogan for Subway's new promotion where you can buy a footlong sandwich for only five bucks.
Another childish name for those of you who have Tony Romo and/or Jason Witten on your team.
This name can be pronounced "went in" or "wetting." It really depends on the type of accent you use.
Witten is one of the league's top tight ends. Expect at least another 80-reception, 1,000-yard season. Do be aware that his touchdown production is rather low.
Not Too Schauby
Not too shabby at all.
Matt Schaub threw for a league-high 4,770 yards last season, solidifying him as one of the top fantasy quarterbacks.
Turner Over And Use Yourwood
Another vulgar name for those of you sick-minded people out there.
Michael Turner and Jerious Norwood form a dynamic duo for the Atlanta Falcons. Turner is a top-10 draft pick, as he should rush for at least 1,200 yards and 12 TDs.
The Real Mother Faulker
Even though Marshall Faulk is retired, this still remains one of the coolest names around.
Faulk is a future Hall of Fame running back. During his career, he amassed over 19,000 yards from scrimmage and was a three-time Offensive Player of the Year. He was an integral key to the "Greatest Show on Turf."
Patrick “What'choo Talkin' 'Bout" Willis
Patrick Willis, the league's best inside linebacker, is an absolute beast for the San Francisco 49ers.
Actor Gary Coleman made the catch phrase "What'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" popular in his sitcom Diff'rent Strokes.
Johnson and Johnson
Johnson and Johnson is one of the industry leaders in health care and pharmaceutical products. Similarly, a combination of Chris Johnson and Andre Johnson is one of the best in fantasy football.
What makes this name even more appropriate is that while the company is losing money on recalls, so are the two players as they continue to be underpaid for their incredible performances.
Chris Johnson is expected to have around 2,000 yards from scrimmage to go along with 12 TDs.
Meanwhile, Andre Johnson should catch 100 receptions for 1,500 yards and eight TDs.
Both are at the top of their respective positions.
As you may have realized, I didn't come up with most of these names. Therefore, I'd like to give credit to the following sites.
Have Any Ideas?
I'm sure all of you brilliant minds out there have some great ideas of your own. Be sure to share them with us in the comment section below!
Be sure to check out CBS Fantasy Football too. It's fun, easy to use, has great features, and it's free! You may even have a chance to win the $10,000 grand prize! So don't miss out!
B/R has partnered with CBSSports.com to get Fantasy Football players a 50% discount on CBSSports.com leagues. To learn more and sign up, click here.