Golden Tate Breaks into Seattle Seahawks Doghouse

In the first real off-the-field blunder of his young career, Golden Tate forgot the first rule in food theft: Never steal from a donut shop.

After a few too many drinks one recent night, Tate reportedly worked up the courage to test the Fort Knox of foodstuffs by poaching a few maple bars. In the process, he was caught by the night baker and cited by local police.

Interesting that the cops were on the scene so quickly.

In any case, this is perhaps one of the bigger non-stories of an offseason replete with them. The kid got drunk, he found food, and he learned his lesson. End of discussion.

Pete Carroll won't take any action, nor should he, except to perhaps recommend a Boston cream next time. (Maybe it's just me, but I can't think of many less appetizing treats than a "maple bar.")

After all, compared to some former rookie faux pas, Tate's mistake is comic relief.

Many questioned DeSean Jackson's maturity, even in high school, when he inexplicably attempted to dive for the end zone from five yards out in the Army All-American game but only made it four. Six years later, he's added a few more plays to his blooper reel, but is still one of the most dynamic pass catchers in the pro ranks.

I'm sure the Seahawks were pleased that Tate picked donuts as his non-performance enhancing substance of choice. The Tampa Bay Rays are still wishing Josh Hamilton had chosen powdered over the powder.

It's an embarrassing story for the former Notre Dame standout, but I'm sure Tate is glad that is all it is. Tate got his hands caught in the cookie jar, but thankfully for the Seahawks, it's meant more literally than figuratively.