Let the world stop spinning on its axis.
ESPN's Freddie Coleman, who has been described in the past as an "ultra-moron" by one blogger (although that may be giving the man's IQ too much adulation given his reputation for butchering the King's English)...yeah, ole Freddie Coleman believes the Atlanta Falcons will prevail over the New Orleans Saints in the NFC South in 2010.
Coleman was a wide receiver at Mansfield University in Mansfield, Pennsylvania. However, just because his athletic skills were not adequate for big-time college football, that does not necessarily preclude him from forecasting the future.
Afterall, maybe those Dirty Birds will win the NFC South when it is all said and done.
However, "Fast Freddie," as they called him at tiny Mansfield U., has been struggling in the prediction department as of late. He told us that the Arizona Cardinals had too much firepower for the New Orleans Saints to handle, and that the Saints offensive line would be no match for the Vikings front four, and the Colts were just plain better than a Saints team that was in the Super Bowl by sheer luck.
It's a damned shame you see, because even "ultra-morons" occassionally get one right, but poor "Fast Freddie" can never seem to get one right.
Said the Tucson Weekly : “ Can you (ESPN) find people who speak the language? I don't mind the slang and vernacular. What I do mind are people who haven't got a grasp of basic grammar and syntax. It's infuriating to hear an announcer (Freddie Coleman , for example) say, ‘He should have ran’ or ‘She could have went.'"
But Fast Freddie isn't alone.
The esteemed professor, John Clayton, and ESPN's Chris Mortensen are drooling over the Falcons too.
In fact, Mortensen managed to flap his mouth for what seemed like an eternity Saturday morning, heaping praise on the Falcons and Matt Ryan without ever mentioning the names of Drew Brees or Sean Payton, or Tracy Porter or Darren Sharper.
How is that possible?
It should come as no surprise though.
ESPN's Mike & Mike ceased talking about the New Orleans Saints' dramatic Super Bowl win by the Wednesday morning following the game.
Has any Super Bowl champion received less respect?
One month after the Super Bowl, Fast Freddie from Mansfield U. was fawning like a teenage girl over Indianapolis Colts DE Raheem Brock.
Now, he didn't kiss Brock on the lips or ask him to dance, but he was positively enamored with Brock and his Super Bowl loser Colts with only obligatory mentions of the Saints interspersed.
Coleman: "There are always fun aspects about playing for this football team (Indianapolis Colts). I think for me, Raheem, the most fun aspect about the Colts—they turned a basketball state in Indiana into a football-crazy state. What is it like for your team knowing that people are talking about Hoosiers and now they're talking about THE COLTS outside of Hoosiers now?"
And Fast Freddie's Colts lovefest didn't end there.
Coleman : "When Lucas Oil stadium gets loud it sounds like a Prince concert, Raheem, ha ha ha...yuk yuk yuk...especially when you guys (the Colts) are on defense."
If Fast Freddie did this much ass kissing on his job interview at ESPN, it is understandable how he overcame his lack of analytical skills to land such a cushy position.
Coleman : "Be honest Raheem. When a quarterback comes to the line of scrimmage and that (Colts) crowd is in a fever pitch. Do you look up into (the quarterback's) eyes, when he comes to the line of scrimmage, or if he's in the shotgun, and you can clearly, clearly see he is affected."
Then, like a teenage girl with a crush, "Fast Freddie" Coleman dreamed about the Colts and next year.
Coleman: "How much does it stick in your mind, Raheem, that you can't wait to be in this position next year?"
Did it ever occur to ESPN and Freddie Coleman that perhaps, just possibly, America may want to hear from the winners and not the losers?
NFL fans nationwide may want to hear the Will Smith story just a little more than the Raheem Brock story.
Yet, perhaps Fast Freddie identifies better with losers.
Afterall, when he played at mighty Mansfield U., they never fared very well on the football field—11 wins in three years and a 63-20 loss to East Stroudsburg.
But that's neither here nor there as they say.
Nevertheless, Fast Freddie says those Dirty Birds will prevail over the New Orleans Saints in 2010 and America would do well to sit up and take notice.