Three subsequent games will follow throughout Memorial Day weekend, and there are probably a handful of sites out there that are capable of providing meaningful analysis of the impending series.
Here, we’re more concerned with giving our friends to the North a fair warning that a juggernaut is headed towards your neighborhood.
The Cardinals offense? Well, not exactly.
We’re speaking, of course, about this guy.
Our beloved “Sign Guy” will (presumably) make the trek from Cardinals Nation to Wrigleyville sometime this weekend and (inevitably) plop his self-indulgent posterior in the sacred bleachers of Wrigley Field. He won’t be alone. He rolls with a deep entourage—which consists of zero humans, but a plethora of Sharpie markers and 10-cent posterboard.
Per the usual Cubs-Cards games at Wrigley Field, a group of intoxicated bachelor party inhabitants will begin mocking his manipulated sign rhymes, his vapid $300 personalized jersey, and his general contributions to mankind—and, if they have time, his stylish ‘92 Oakley Blades, which come in handy while dodging peanuts that are directed towards your coconut.
The Cubs fans in the Wrigley Field bleachers don’t like him either.