NFL

Jamarcus Russell Promotions LLC: Chapter 11 or Chapter Seven?

OAKLAND, CA - JANUARY 03:  JaMarcus Russell #2 of the Oakland Raiders walks off the field against the Baltimore Ravens during an NFL game at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on January 3, 2010 in Oakland, California.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images
George CashewContributor IMay 27, 2010

It seems like every family has one.

The annoying child who won't be quiet. Whether eating at McDonald's, standing in the checkout line at Wal-Mart, buying shoes at Payless, or hanging around outside—they can never seem to close their mouth before engaging their brains.

Ironically, these are the mouths that seemed to be lined with gold teeth as time goes on. I think Brett Favre sang a song in the locker room that concerns these children.

Most of us enjoy a good intellectual argument. Positions based upon fact, evidence, and extrapolation, combined with a skillful turn of word or quick wit, are universally welcome.

However, there seems to be a group of dim witted individuals who defy accepted logic and normally proven truths. They're the ones who claim the world to be flat or that the dinosaurs did not exist many years ago.

In the animal kingdom, mothers would leave these weak links outside, a Darwinian choice for certain, for either the cold or the predators to cleanse.

The best example in the human world would be those who walk around with t-shirts that say, "Stupid people should not breed."

Exhibit "A" of said group of children are those charter members of the JaMarcus Russell Promotions LLC (a low-watt light bulb club) who insist that recently cutting the overweight, under-performing, and overpaid namesake is a grave error.

The Rhodes scholars' brilliant deductitions about the embattled QB are as follows :

- He is black

- Roger Goodell is paid $10 million

- Bruce Gradkowski is terrible

- The coach is terrible (and white)

 

- His teammates are terrible

- Everybody hates the Raiders

- JaMarcus haters are all Republicans

- He was underpaid

- The NFL hates black QB's

A common theme amongst the officers of the JRP LLC is that race is one of the largest (no pun intended) factors in determining his demise. While Bleacher Report members who claim to be black scoff at the "race card"' excuse in Russell's case—the club members stick firm to their party line.

A child born with a disease (obviously through no fault of their own) like MS, Tourette's, autism, or Downs syndrome should never be held responsible for their actions. And in many countries, there are enormous social systems to help them out.

Should these wayward "childlike" individuals with stunted thought processes be given "preferential" treatment, and a "special" section for them to post in. Maybe a sort of "padded wall" forum so they don't hurt themselves?

Or as a society, should we just humour them, and agree with whatever they say, no matter how strange or illogical? Like the tired parent who can no longer discipline the unruly, over-excited, and hyper-A.D.D. child?

This is clearly past the point where well structured arguments are accepted, or rebutted, with common sense and intellect.

Maybe it's time to declare a new affliction that the American Medical Association can certify, so these poor children can get the care and attention they so obviously crave and need.

In case this actually gets declared an official medical condition by the AMA, I nominate that it be called the Keilyn Syndrome.

Do I hear a second? 

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