If you are a regular viewer of your baseball team’s regular season games, you will see the same commercials approximately six million times.
You will already be sick of them by May, and by September the sight of it will make you psychotic.
If you’re a regular viewer of other games for fantasy purposes and the general playoffs, it gets even worse, because there’s a heavy amount of crossover.
Luckily, I have probably blocked some out of my mind, but here are seven that are already making me consider breaking my computer more.
7. Hardees — Guy Works On Car
The premise: a guy works on his car with a fresh Hardee’s burger, while his girlfriend is bored because he’s working on his car.
The message: real men eat Hardee’s burgers!
Several things wrong: first, how did he get said burger? He didn’t just go to Hardee’s, get a burger, and immediately start working on his car, right?
The chick obviously didn’t get it for him, because how could she be bored after just arriving with the burger?
If she’s been sitting there awhile, why doesn’t she just leave? Luckily, they haven’t shown this one in a couple of years…
6. Hardees — Three Guys
Paris Hilton's, Hardee’s commercial was fine, but overall, Hardee’s has the most angering commercials of any company in the country (or Carl’s Junior for west coast folk.)
The premise: a guy ordered a grilled cheese sandwich, and his three friends ordered burgers, and they are laughing at him as they eat their burgers because he ordered a grilled cheese.
Who does this? I’d pay $700 to have a sequel where the restaurant is hit by a missile.
5. Staples — Wow!
I recently had one of those lazy afternoons where I had baseball games in the background while I dozed in and out of naps.
During that time, I swear that I heard “Wow! That’s a low price!” at least eight times.
When it would come again, it almost seemed like the commercial-runner-people were doing it as a joke.
The best thing to do when something isn’t funny the first time is play it 600 more times.
Actually, sometimes that works, just not in this case.
4. Frank Caliendo on TBS
It was the Martha Burk protest of television promotion.
When Burk protested for women to be admitted to Augusta National, she got national press coverage for a year leading up to her, “protest,” and about 50 people showed up.
That’s all she could get for national media coverage for a year.
You could find 50 people who eat aardvark within two days.
Caliendo had prime promotion spots on TBS during the baseball playoffs, and managed to keep his show for just two seasons.
3. Wendy’s — Meet the New Guy
This one had as much logic as the Hardee’s commercials.
As much as I hate ripping Wendy’s (I firmly believe that if it were a sit-down restaurant, it’d be a four or five-star restaurant with its amazing spicy chicken sandwich,) this one was maddeningly horrible.
Several guys are playing poker in a basement late at night, and a “new guy” shows up. “Meet the new guy!” some d-bag says.
Immediately, some other d-bag coerces him to go get burgers for everyone. He is forced to drive to Wendy’s and the drive-thru lady recognizes him.
“You must be the new guy!” Because most people immediately send new card players on burger runs after joining them for the first time after midnight.
2. Taylor Hicks — Ford
This horrible jingle, concocted after Hicks’ American Idol win, was legendary in its repetitiveness. However, it’s almost been forgotten because of what came after…
1. Chevy — This is Our Country
I apologize for putting this song back into your head.