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My last countdown article http://bleacherreport.com/articles/37991-top-10-nhl-masks-of-all-time made for a good conversation piece, so I have decided to make another fun list for everyone to discuss whether they hate or love it...

Reds, Ducks, and Alouettes, Oh My!: The 10 Wimpiest Team Names in Sports

by Jordan Vertone (Analyst)

168

47409 reads

Rankings/List

July 18, 2008


My last countdown article http://bleacherreport.com/articles/37991-top-10-nhl-masks-of-all-time made for a good conversation piece, so I have decided to make another fun list for everyone to discuss whether they hate or love it.  The topic of choice this week is the "Top 10 Wimpiest Team Names in Sports."

 

10. Penguins (Pittsburgh—NHL)

Pittsburgh makes No. 10 on my list with their NHL team.  From what I know about Penguins (which is not too much), they are not a mean nor fierce animal.  In fact, I'd love to have a penguin for a pet—I think that would be pretty sweet.

The reason they're not closer to the top of the list is because the Penguins are able to withstand the harsh, cold winters down in the Antarctic, unlike other birds (penguins are a bird right? kind of?), like a duck who is not mighty.

Is that foreshadowing?  Keep reading to find out.

 

9. Cardinals (Arizona, St. Louis—NFL, MLB)

No. 9 was formerly the Browns.  However, while the name does sound wimpy, the Browns fans did give me some info that made me decide that it doesn't deserve the top ten.  So I went with the name Cardinals.

What's up with this?  There's a team named the Cardinals in both the MLB and NFL.  Can't we think of other names for a team other than this wimpy bird?  So I definitely think that Arizona and St. Louis deserve to make my team over Cleveland!

 

8. Reds (Cincinnati—MLB)

Well, I had to do some research on this team to find out what the heck a Red is.  I thought it might be a bird to add to the bird family living within MLB.  But I learned something today.  It turns out they used to be called the Red Stockings.  The fact that their name comes from a word like stockings get them into the eighth spot on my list.

Yes, the Red Sox got their name from the Red Stockings, but the Red Sox don't make my list, because Sox spelled with an "X" is pretty hardcore if you ask me.

 

7. Nuggets (Denver—NBA)

Nuggets.  As in chicken nuggets or what?  I honestly tried pretty hard (okay, not too hard) to find out the meaning of where the term comes from, and I found it was from the gold mines, golden nuggets, and such.  Although it's referring to gold, and that's pretty awesome stuff, it will remain on my list.

So if there are any Nugget fans out there who want to defend their team, go right ahead!  Until then, I'm just going to believe that Denver has one heck of a lot of McDonald's in their state, so much that they named their NBA franchise after them, since that's more funny then gold.

 

6. Jazz (Utah—NBA)

Named after a type of music that is known to be really laid back and not crazy makes me think that this basketball team must have a mellow attitude.  I mean, if this was in New Orleans (which it once was), I probably wouldn't make fun of it as much because it makes sense.  Although it would still be wimpy, it would still make sense!

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168 comments Last one added 10 months ago — Leave a Comment

  1. Tigershark 11 months ago

    Very funny. I propose we change the Anaheim Ducks to the Orange County Cougars. The mascot could be an aging 40-50 year old woman with puffy lips, a mini skirt, high heels, and a thong.

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    • Ryan Staab 11 months ago

      You just described half the fans you'll find inside the Honda Center at any given Ducks game... ;)

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    • Tigershark 11 months ago

      Just near the glass where they can say "Look at meee!" while they walk to their seats. Up top, there are some serious hockey fans (like myself.)

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    • Ryan Staab 11 months ago

      They're just trying to get Ryan Getzlaf's attention.

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    • Tigershark 11 months ago

      Well, I wish they'd stop...Im trying to eat over here...

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    • bartholemew oglethorpe 11 months ago

      how about top ten worst sports articles in history....

      10. tiger woods is finished ( after he failed to capture any major one year)

      9. Americans are favorites to win hockey gold ( nothing need be said here)

      8. American women heavy favorites to win hockey gold ( we all know about that one )

      7. Pats will go undefeated in 2007 - 08...( dolphins sad name and all still only team to do so)

      6. Ben Johnson did steroids Carl Lewis did not ( only americans believe this )

      5. Floyd Landis did steroids Lance Armstrong did not ( the french know more than americans do )

      4. Nascar is more popular than any motorsport ( more people watch one F-1 race, than the entire nascar season)

      3. The Mighty Ducks are not mighty ( they won the stanley cup)

      2. Basketball is more popular in Detroit than hockey ( the wings out drew the pistons by more than a 2 to 1 margin head to head during playoffs)

      1. Naming stupid monikers in sports ( there may be hundreds of stupid names...to try and list only ten is stupid...those fans love their beloved, cardinals, or ducks etc....once again...time for american journalists to shut up)

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    • Alan Bass 11 months ago

      yo, bartholomew, nascar is actually the most popular sport in america, u need to research this some more before you accuse a sport of being dumb

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    • pat davis 11 months ago

      I disagree with the Alouettes being on the list.
      Yes "Alouette" means goose, but if you've ever been attacked by a couple Canada Geese, you know that they are tough, nasty bastards.
      Swans are pretty much the only things that scare geese, and they have an even wimpier sounding name.

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    • S B 11 months ago

      40 cars driving in circles 500 times. thats not a dumb sport at all........

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      luckily bartholemew.... i am not american, i am canadian so i dont have to shut up!!

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  2. GoBears 2008 11 months ago

    Funny article. Alouette is definitely a horrible name. A lark???

    The Denver Nuggets used to have a pick their logo I think, making it clear that they were gold nuggets (similar to the 49ers).

    The Cleveland Browns, according to Wikipedia, were named after Joe Lewis "the Brown Bomber," making their name one of my new favorites (if it's true). I'm not sure where they got the Dawg Pound from.

    The San Jose Sharks are already a mean name, but they still felt the need to make the Shark logo look meaner, maybe logos with more attitude would benefit these 10 teams.

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  3. Tyler Jones 11 months ago

    Heads up. It is my understanding that the nugget refers to gold nuggets.

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      lol thanks, but it still sounds ridicoulous i think!! thats what i was thinking it meant but i didnt want to write that in case it was wrong lol

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  4. Tyler Jones 11 months ago

    Im sure you do, but you do know that the Jazz started in New Orleans?

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  5. Ben Horner 11 months ago

    Yeah about the Utah Jazz thing...They used to be in New Orleans until their owner moved them in 1979, but they just kept the name. Just thought Id pass that along, seeing as how that kind of changes things a bit

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  6. Tyler Jones 11 months ago

    Also, the Browns are named after a person. Can't remember exactly who it is.

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    • Ryan Staab 11 months ago

      Paul Brown, Ohio Football Demigod, who not only coached the Buckeyes to their first NC (1942) but also founded/coached the Cincinnati Bengals and built up a huge following at Massillion High in NE Ohio

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  7. Tyler Jones 11 months ago

    Good article though. You've promted an article I want to write about unoriginal team names: bulldogs, trojans, tigers, etc.

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  8. Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

    I think this is funny! im getting so many different responses for what people beleive the sports teams are named after, love it keep them comming

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  9. Mary Mimi 11 months ago

    great article

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  10. Ryan Powell 11 months ago

    Maple Leafs, Red Wings, Blues, Red Sox, White Sox,

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    • TJ Ferguson 11 months ago

      blues are named after the type of music, it's the same deal as the jazz, except the blues didn't move so the name is fitting, although i guess the music is kinda wimpy, it's about being sad and depressed, so actually, blues should switch spots with the jazz, b/c jazz is actually a pretty badass genre of music

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  11. Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

    I knew someone was going to bring up the Maple Leafs... infact i almost wrote at the bottom why their not on it. I am Canadian so im going to not bash the name Maple Leafs for being Wimpy. The Maple Leaf is the symbol of our country and we are the "True North Strong and Free". As for the Sox teams, i think they sound awsome as if their like a gang or something, very unwimpy like. Blues i was thinking of but i didnt want to pick on the two teams named after music so i just used the Jazz.

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  12. Tron Harris 11 months ago

    Here is one that you have overlooked and without a question should top your list granted its Division III college.

    The NYU Purple Violets

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  13. Kenny Stein 11 months ago

    How about the Lakers?

    Not only does it fit in line with the Jazz moving to a place where there is no jazz and the Lakers moving to a city where there are no Lakes... its also pretty whimpy.

    I mean, what are you going to do.. drown me?

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  14. Jonathan Slotter 11 months ago

    I mean, I think there shoujld be college on there as well. Banana Slugs, Dirtbags.

    To "Tron" I belive NYU are the eagles.

    Huskies? Aggies? Big Red? Big Green? Crimson?

    maybe im a little off.

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      College isnt considered a professional sport tho is it??? see i know college sports is huge in the US but i just never really got into it too much.

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    • Tron Harris 11 months ago

      yeah but i think college should count if you are going to include the alloutes (sorry about the spelling)

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      I agree Tron, i didnt think of it just because i never really got into the college stuff. But you make a good point since i guess the CFL in canada is like the College sports in the US.

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  15. Jonathan Slotter 11 months ago

    Correction on my NYU statement.... their logo just has an eagle on it.

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  1. Tron Harris 11 months ago

    Jon you are kind of right... they are the Bobcats now but they were the purple violets for a few years in the 80s. there mascot was actually a flower... no joke

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  2. Tigershark 11 months ago

    Both my favorite sports tams, the Ducks and Packers, have pretty bad names. The San Francisco Packers would at least make sense...

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  3. Josh Lewis 11 months ago

    Great stuff Jordan!

    "I gave them a chance, i looked up the birds and i found this one to be the most un-manly of them all."

    Ha! Funny stuff. Thanks for sparing the Blue Jays...

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  4. Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

    Thanks Josh, I appreciate it. Glad you liked it. Im a big Jays fan too, but they were close to making the list! But the fact that most people just call them the ``Jays`` now which sounds pretty awsome, is why they didnt get put on.

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  5. Joe Willett 11 months ago

    Funny stuff. The packers, I don't even get that name. Loved the work you put into this to find out which teams have the sissiest names.

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    • Tigershark 11 months ago

      I agree with you that its a bad name but its kind of cool if you know the histroy behind it:

      The orginal Green Bay Packers were just a bunch of guys who worked at the Indian Packing Company in Green Bay, Wisconsin and started a football team with a $500 investment for uniforms with the stipulation that the team be named after the company.

      When they joined the NFL in 1921, they called themselves the ACME Packers.

      They are now valued at $927 million and have won more NFL Championships, twelve, than any other NFL team. (Eleven with someone other than Favre at QB)

      The Bears are second with 9 and the Giants third with 7.

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  6. Pat Sullivan 11 months ago

    St. Louis Blues anyone? Who's afraid of Wizards or Senators? How about a Galaxy?

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      St.Louis Blues, i explained it in one of the comments above, but ill say it again. It was kept off becasue i already picked on the Utah Jazz for having their name as a type of music so i didnt want to keep a biased trend going. The wizards cand be pretty freaky... i hate to pull harry potter into this but that voldemort guy is one messed up freak lol. The senators... well were they not kind of like gladiators back in the day? Then for the Galaxy... well the Galaxy is a huge i dunno what would you call it....thing. Anything as big as a galxy is not wimpy to me!

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  7. Greg Caggiano 11 months ago

    Good list but I'll add these two teams:

    Edmonton Cracker Cats (Independant League Baseball)
    Iowa Chops (Named after the Pork product; AHL affiliate of the Dallas Stars)

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      Those are good ones, but i didnt want to put in independant baseball! On another note.. what league are the cracker cats in now, because their not in my citys league any more. They used to play the Winnipeg Goldeyes. I wish they didnt leave (calgary,edmonton) but they had such horrible attendances

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    • Josh Lewis 11 months ago

      Iowa Chops? I thought it was the Iowa Stars?

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      Ya it is the Iowa Stars

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    • Greg Caggiano 11 months ago

      Jordan: I'm not sure what league their in, all I know is one of my favorite independant league players, Ryan Radmanovich played there for a few seasons.

      Josh: They used to be called the Stars and they changed the name a few weeks ago to represent how Iowa is the center of the meet packing industry or something like that. Their logo is an evil looking pig lol...

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      Really? well i guess its better than not being creative and just using the name of you big league team, but i loved their jerseys! Are they at least using the same color scheme

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    • Greg Caggiano 11 months ago

      I think they changed the colors around to Red, Black and Silver, but you would have to double check.

      BTW, check the bulletin board on your profile...

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    • Tigershark 11 months ago

      They were the Iowa Stars (NHL Affiliate:Dallas) until this year. They are now the Iowa Chops (NHL Affilliate: Anaheim). Check out their new logo. Its a big freaking PIG!

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  8. William Berry 11 months ago

    Angels, we beat up more Demons before breakfast than you.:)

    How did the Arizona Cardinals escape? OK, in baseball a team named after a state bird is OK. I football they should be somehow fearsome or something. Eagles, besides patriotism, are fast, have good eyesight, and are birds of prey. Falcons, take out the patriotism and they are mini-eagles. Sea-Hawks, besides not really existing, are hawks and like aquatic eagles.

    Cardinals? Seeds fear us! The others are birds of prey. Cardinals are prey.

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  9. Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

    The Eagles, Falcons and sea-hawks all do not sound wimpy and are not! The Cardinals well you are right they definatly could be up there but i decided not to use it. But ya definatly the Cardinals are another good one to use

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  10. Greg Caggiano 11 months ago

    How about the Islanders?

    Any team with the Gorton's fisherman as their logo can't be thought of as fierce in any way...

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      I was thinking about that one too. But i just didnt Think the name was sissy enough to go on the list. However you may have just inspired my next Top Ten list in my series...... Most Outrageous logos???

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    • Greg Caggiano 11 months ago

      Sounds good, I'll definately read that one!

      If you want any suggestions, drop me a line...

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      maybe i will! If i do im definatly going to have to put in a college team some where to keep the "hatas" away lol. Just kidding all comments bad and good are welcomed, i love to argue!!!

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  11. Ryan Williams 11 months ago

    How about the Cubs, or the Padres? Or in the WNBA the Atlanta Dream and the Chicago Sky?

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      accidentally replied to you comment below:

      I cant say i even thought about the WNBA to be honest. Its a womens league its ment to be whimpy....oooooo jk jk jk. I thought about the Cubs as well but one day the cubs will grow into some huge bear and kill anyone in its tracks (if you put it that way it dosent sound wimpy). I didnt think the padres sounded that wimpy, but i dont think i looked up the meaning of padres, so maybe i over looked it. But if you go by name i dont think padres sounds that wimpy at least i think

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  12. Thomas Lee 11 months ago

    I've wondered when someone would write something like this. Good article.

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  13. Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

    I cant say i even thought about the WNBA to be honest. Its a womens league its ment to be whimpy....oooooo jk jk jk. I thought about the Cubs as well but one day the cubs will grow into some huge bear and kill anyone in its tracks (if you put it that way it dosent sound wimpy). I didnt think the padres sounded that wimpy, but i dont think i looked up the meaning of padres, so maybe i over looked it. But if you go by name i dont think padres sounds that wimpy at least i think

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  14. Sam Robinson 11 months ago

    You should look into the Japanese Baseball teamsw...they sound quite whimpy

    Tokyo Yakult Swallows?

    Hiroshima Toyo Carp?

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      Ya but all those sound wimpy to me. If i went that far all my teams would be from that league as well as from the new Russian hockey league lol

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  15. Ryan Williams 11 months ago

    Yeah the WNBA is pretty wimpy. And I'm not 100% positive on this, but I thought that Padre (which means "father" in spanish) was a reference to Father as in Reverend or Priest. They were very common at the missions built in the San Diego area. I could be way off on that, but I think thats it. But yeah, great idea for an article. When can we expect the 10 most bad-ass names?

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      Thats sounds right to me, now that i think of it it makes sense. Im going to have to write down all of these ideas for my top ten list. Great idea if you dont mind if i take it??

      p.s i should have two more installments of my top 10 countdown within the next week, before i leave on holidays!

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  1. Ryan Williams 11 months ago

    Awesome, I look forward to reading them. And go ahead, the idea is all yours.

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  2. Kevin Paul 11 months ago

    Nice... you know you could have picked the Jays or the Cardinals... but nooooooooo, you had to take the Orioles. =)

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  3. Alan Bass 11 months ago

    love it jordan. after mighty was taken out of mighty ducks, i think the anaheim ducks just sounds weird.

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  4. Tigershark 11 months ago

    OK, now follow up with your ten BEST names in sports:

    Dallas Cowboys?
    San Jose Sharks?
    New York Giants?
    Pittsburgh Steelers?
    Milwaukee Brewers?
    New York Yankees?
    Seattle Seahawks?
    Philadelphia Eagles?
    Minnesota Vikings?
    Chicago Bears?
    Phoenix Coyotes?
    Arizona Diamondbacks?
    New England Patriots?

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  5. Lisa Horne 11 months ago

    I thought the Browns were named after Paul Brown. Hmmm..in any case, it's a dull name, no doubt.

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  6. Mike 11 months ago

    ya the Browns where named after Paul Brown who sold them then move to cincy and started the Bengals I can't believe some people don't know the sports history and then want look it up if they are going to write an article

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      This article was supposed to be funny, a lot of the stuff i didnt know i pretended not to know as in sarcasm to make the article more funny. I did put a lot of research into this article actually, and i dont think i will let someone who has written 1 and a quarter articles here bash me personally. I always welcome people who disagree with what i have wrote. However when you say that i didnt do reasearch in this i will take acception to it. I admit the Browns was one of the things i did not know where the name came from and i did take some time to try to figure it out, but even if i did know this would still be on my list. In case you havnt noticed, some of the names even with a strong background still made it onto my list becasue it was so wimpy and boring. Browns would be on here no matter what.

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  7. Mike 11 months ago

    also the Jazz did start out in New Orleans and the Nuggets is taking from all the gold taking out of the mountains west of Denver

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      ya.. have you not read any of the other comments down here, everyone explained that already, and i knew that the jazz started out in New Orleans.

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  8. yungCaucasoid ... 11 months ago

    How the "Lakers" are not on your list, is beyond me. The organization moved away from (Minneapolis) the Land of 10,000 lakes, like...what? 1000 years ago? But still cling on to the name & uniforms...go figure

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  9. Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

    Ya i agree, but its not the stupidest names of all time, its the wimpiest. The Lakers dosent sound as wimpy as the other names i dont think. But thanks for your feedback!

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  10. midwesterngrad 11 months ago

    Any good ideas for Oklahoma City's NBA mascot?

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      well has the team name been officially released?? Im pretty sure it going to be the Outlaws, i think. If thats the case that is an awsome name worthy of my next list for badass names lol. As for their mascot, im not sure what they could have for that

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    • Paul Johnson 11 months ago

      Actually, just released yesterday. It's going to be the Oklahoma City Thunder. Sounds like a WNBA team to me.

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  11. Andrew Kneeland 11 months ago

    Where are the Minnesota Twins? And no mention of the Sox from Chicago or Boston?

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  12. Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

    Crap the Twins!! I remember thinking about them but forgot to write them down on my research paper. For sure they could definatly be one on this list. As for the sox read comments above i think iv mentioned above how i think sox spelt with an x is pretty much totall bad ass

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  13. Matt Eichel 11 months ago

    Truth is, I'd much rather be a Bomber than an f-ing Alouette.

    Great read!

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  14. bob mantz 11 months ago

    So, who would win in an ESPN bracket showdown - the Angels v. the Saints?
    Or would it end in a tie like a MMA match between two Aikido guys?

    Also, how about the California Golden Seals? That was some 'club'.

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  15. Kelly Bundle 11 months ago

    I'd personally be more frightened of the Alouettes than the pair of Sox. You nailed most of them but clearly missed some of the least intimidating. At least a bird(Alouette) could pluck out your eyes. What are Sox going to do?

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  1. Kelly Bundle 11 months ago

    Clog the dryer? I don't know what kind of dryer you have but my clothes tumble in a large cylinder where no sock could get 'clogged'. But nice try.

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  2. Aaron Cord 11 months ago

    As a Browns fan, I'd like to correct you. The "dawg" thing came from Hanford Dixon and his barking at the bleachers to fire them up. They bacame the dawg pound nothing has anything to do with a bulldog. The Browns are named after Paul Brown, their founder and father of modern football. The architect of the forward pass (with Otto Graham, of course). Arguably the greatest coach in football history. That is an admirable name and has no business on this discredited list.

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  3. Aaron Cord 11 months ago

    As a Browns fan, I'd like to correct you. The "dawg" thing came from Hanford Dixon and his barking at the bleacher section to fire them up. They became the dawg pound and nothing has anything to do with a bulldog. The Browns are named after Paul Brown, their founder and father of modern football. The architect of the forward pass (with Otto Graham, of course). Arguably the greatest coach in football history. That is an admirable name and has no business on this discredited list.

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      ok , thanks for your info! however it still sounds wimpy!

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      However I agree with you, after thinking about it. I have decided to replace the Browns with the Cardinals. I tried to find the background info on the browns before but couldnt come up with it, so thanks for the info. It does still sound wimpy but it dosent come from something wimpy. Plus Cardinals is just Gay

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  4. Robert Reese 11 months ago

    The Cleveland Browns were named after the coach and owner Paul Brown. It'd be like the Dallas Cowboys being the Dallas Jones'. For awhile they used a brownie as their helmet logo (about a minute) and the brownie is about the lamest fairytale creature known to man.

    The Denver Nuggets are named after gold nuggets from the gold rush from 1858 to about 1861. Gold's pretty cool, but "nuggets" sounds lame too. Like, "I just got kicked in the nuggets!"

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  5. jon rehor 11 months ago

    dude, how stupid are you? Nuggets refers to the mining history of Colorado. Gold, Silver, Copper, Lead. Gold Nuggets. Where the F*** do you get Chicken McNuggets from? And by the way, McNuggets stole their name from gold nuggets, not vice versa. And it's "definitely" not definatly. That you actually have done "research" on these names and continue to get things wrong is definatly disturbing. And the North Stars comes from the MN state motto "L'etoile du nord" = "The star of the North."

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      i know where they come from stupid! the face is its wimpy!!! Obviously the Nuggets are reffering to the gold mines, its called sarcasm and acting dumb for a funny article!!! Also the fact you stated about the NOrth Stars makes it even more wimpy lol

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      also welcome to bleacher report. Im happy that my articlke was so important you had to join! Cant wait to read your articles!!

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  6. unfrozen caveman 11 months ago

    As a Colorado native, the Nuggets is a really stupid name. Considering how much pot is smoked in this state, though, many have taken to calling them the "nugs," as in the green, leafy kind. Classy.

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  7. Unfrozen Caveman 11 months ago

    As a Colorado native, the Nuggets is a really stupid name. Considering how much pot is smoked in this state, though, many have taken to calling them the "nugs," as in the green, leafy kind. Classy.

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  8. Bill N 11 months ago

    OMG what about the DOLPHINS, easily the wimpiest team name in all of sports. Especially considering the sport they play.

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  9. Conor Chandler 11 months ago

    great list, just wondering but why would anyone name their football team after a bird? or any team, for that matter.

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  10. Kelly Bundle 11 months ago

    If Paul Brown were alive to see that and he confronted you in person, you'd have ^%# your pants. He was a very powerful man in many ways.

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  11. Cayce Mautino 11 months ago

    How about the OKC Thunder? They make niose but nothing to see.

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  12. Angelo 2114 11 months ago

    Your list sucks and you're an idiot. First, Penguins are not UP there (the Arctic) they are DOWN in the Antarctic. You know, the SOUTH POLE!? What are you six? I'm guessing you were giggling like Beavis and Butthead the whole time you were typing this on your parent's pc.

    You suck dude, find a new job please!

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    • Tyler Charles 11 months ago

      Hey, how about we lay off, if you read the comments...he's said multiple times it was supposed to be a funny article and not too serious. And last time I checked...no one here sits around all day writing articles for Bleacher Report and gets paid for it, we're here to have fun and talk sports. Perhaps YOU should get a new job if your this bothered by everything, sounds like your work life is bringing you down.

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      Thanks Angelo!!! you sound like a nice guy. This is not my job and dont get paid for it like Tyler said. Im just hear to write some fun articles and get people talking about them... whichc i did, with 42,000 + reads and 160 comments!

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  13. Kelly Bundle 11 months ago

    A new job? I didn't like some of his opinions either but I can assure you that this is an un-payed position for Jordan, as it is for all of us. So Angelo, why take the time to comment if all you have is trash? I don't need an answer, it's because you are a wussy who bullies others from behind his computer screen. Nice goin' champ! You don't even have the balls to put a picture up, let alone write a controversial article. Jordan, keep it coming man.

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  14. jim blane 11 months ago

    FYI, the Cardinals are not named after the bird. They are named after the color of uniforms the team first bought from the University of Chicago. They were a bunch of Southside guys who loved wearing blood-colored jerseys. Anyway, my Top 10 Wimpiest Blog Writer Names is led off by Jordan.

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  15. Kelly Bundle 11 months ago

    How people can continue to waste their time posting here if it's sooooooo lame is beyond me. This article generated more talk than any of yours bucko.

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  1. Jeff B 11 months ago

    Good point Kelly

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  2. Dan Lund 11 months ago

    The Tampa Bays Rays should be on your list. Rays aren't even a substance, but a beam of energy like light. Maybe if they were the X-rays or gamma rays (or remained the Devil Rays) it would be threatening, but the name Rays is about as scary as a flashlight.

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      actually i beleive they are named after the fish Devil Ray, not like a light ray. Last year theyt just took the devil off, but im pretty sure it still refers to the fish. Which is some what like the fish that killed steve Irwin!

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  3. john holland 11 months ago

    What an idiot this guy is! Does he sound like a heathen or what? I think the whole discussion of mascots is a joke anyway. It is for pre-schoolers and t-ballers anyway. What do we have mascots/team names in college and pro-sports? What a freaking waste of time and energy to spend on such a meaningless topic. Grow up and find something worth while to write about.

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  4. john holland 11 months ago

    What an idiot this guy is! Does he sound like a heathen or what? I think the whole discussion of mascots is a joke anyway. It is for pre-schoolers and t-ballers anyway. What do we have mascots/team names in college and pro-sports anyway? What a freaking waste of time and energy to spend on such a meaningless topic. Grow up and find something worth while to write about.

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  5. john holland 11 months ago

    What an idiot this guy is! Does he sound like a heathen or what? I think the whole discussion of mascots is a joke anyway. It is for pre-schoolers and t-ballers anyway. What do we have mascots/team names in college and pro-sports anyway? What a freaking waste of time and energy to spend on such a meaningless topic. Grow up and find something worth while to write about. What about the scary twins or dodgers, wow they are really going to intimidate me. What about the Yankees? Oh man would that strike the fear of God in me if I saw a Yankee walking toward me. What about the Red sox? That has to be a scary sight? Give me an ever-lovin-break. they are all lame and ridiculous. Get off you high horse and face the facts.

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    • Jordan Vertone 11 months ago

      im the idiot, whos the one who posted the same thing three times lol. Plus your not making sense in what your saying. I understand that you dont agree with the article but... its weriteen very weird. I didnt write about mascots??? and obviously it wasnt a waste of time since i have over 42,000 reads, which is quite a bit for this site.

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  6. no thanks 11 months ago

    This is a horribly written and researched article and I regret having read it. I won't be coming back to bleacherreport.com.

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  7. Ben Stone 11 months ago

    Hey J-Boat, chill out. You're the guy who wants to send Coach Hines to jail for threatening his students... Sissisah!!!

    As for threatening names, how about the Rainbow Warriors?!

    And one last thing; John, if you post again, I will cut you in half with a water bottle! Oh, wait. Please don't get upset for me threatening you!

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  8. Ben Stone 11 months ago

    One more point.

    As wimpy as the Angels sound, Vlad looks like he just ate someone everytime he steps up to ther plate (and loved it).

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  9. Sue M. 11 months ago

    haha, well I actually like the Reds, so I definitely don't agree with your #8 spot for them.

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  10. MJ Kasprzak 11 months ago

    WOW--congrats on the reads! I'm not sure I've had that many in almost four months and over 60 articles on the site!
    My High School's mascot was a GOSLING! Not even a full-grown goose, which could at least break a finger with its bite, but a BABY goose! (We made up for it by ending three guys' seasons with serious injuries, though!)

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  11. Paul 11 months ago

    An Angel wimpy? Hmmm.... Then I wonder why every time an angel appears in the Bible, the next line is almost always "Do not be afraid!"

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    • Timothy Croley 11 months ago

      I agree. What about the angels God sent to destroy entire nations? Angels are pretty fierce! I wouldn't want to cross one, because they are really not just messengers of God, they are much more.

      Jordan, I really think you should redo the list and be aware of saying that angels are wimpy.

      Names that must be on the list: Maple Leafs and Knicks (Knickerbockers).

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  12. Tyler Charles 11 months ago

    I just hope Mr. Redleg doesn't make your list of Ten Worst Mascots...I think he kinda brings a little toughness to the whole Reds thing. I guess you can only name your teams after socks when you start out in the 19th century...not much creativity back then, heh.

    Fun article. I for one am NOT more stupid for reading this, nor am I deeply offended, or whatever else the naysayers here are whining about. Nice job!

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  13. joseph mcilwee 11 months ago

    How about the Philadelphia Phillies - nothing wimpier than a messed-up spelling of a female horse.

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  14. Tom S 11 months ago

    This article should be ammended to include the NFL team names that imply homosexual tendencies:

    Redskins
    Oilers (now defunct)
    Browns
    Titans
    49ers (location, location, location)
    Packers (my favorite)

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  15. ryanf wheeler 11 months ago

    What about the Senators? How lame is that...

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  1. Darren McDonald 11 months ago

    I graduated from Glassboro State College -Div III (now known as Rowan Universty in South Jersey) in the late 80's and our mascot was a big Owl, complete with mortar board and monacle. Since Glassboro used to be a teaching school, they thought it would be great to let us be known as the "Profs", as in Professors. HOW LAME IS THAT?

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  2. Nathan Blunck 11 months ago

    espn travel did a piece on the weirdest mascots a couple months ago. here's the link-it still worked for me when i tried it 2 minutes ago.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/travel/news/story?id=3224604

    there are some weird mascots/names out there.

    good article.

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  3. Jason Adams 11 months ago

    Good article!

    You left off one very important nickname:

    The Syracuse Orange!

    I know, it was just a pro thing, but this is clearly one of the worst nicknames ever.

    Also, I want to punch the mascot in the face, and I'm a Syracuse fan!

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  4. James Pena 11 months ago

    I agree with your inclusion of both Anaheim teams. I mean you can't get much wimpier than being the centerpiece of multiple disney movies (or being named after one).

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  5. Rafi Ahmed 11 months ago

    The Arizona Cardinals were from St. Louis. Then they moved to Arizona keeping the name.

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  6. John Park 11 months ago

    I believe OKC Thunder should be on the list. Although Thunder is somewhat powerful, its few and most times not deadly. I would also have to say observing the Sonics situation, the owner is a cheating douchebag. I feel for the Seattleites.

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  7. Kage A 11 months ago

    What about the New York Knicks, as in knickerbockers. They're named for underwear for f***'s sake. Nothing wimpier than that.

    We're the New York tighty whities.

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  8. gay asholey 11 months ago

    What a huge faggot. This is terrible. I want my two minutes back.

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  9. Jimmy Dolittle 11 months ago

    LOl, the Dolphins totalyl RULE

    JT
    www.FireMe.To/udi

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  10. James Durning 11 months ago

    Agreed up to the angel part. Guy must not have read the bible.

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  11. David Craddock 11 months ago

    No mention of the Padres? Who, aside from altar boys, is afraid of a priest?

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  12. Jeff Meiers 11 months ago

    nascar a sport cmon the drivers wear diapers for cryin out loud. I will give ya nascar is an advertisement gimmick but not a sport

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  13. moo doo 11 months ago

    For college sports try the Tulane "Green Wave' or UPenn's "Quaker". Those are worse than any on here...

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  14. missy poste 11 months ago

    Haha like you said point of the article was for a laugh and definitely got one. Oh, and i love the fact that top 10 wimpiest teams names honestly caused that much controversy. He's not bashing anyone's team here, just the names, relax guys.

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  15. john smith 11 months ago

    You describe "Jazz" as "laid back and not crazy". You don't mention where the word "jazz" comes from: it's connected with "jiss" and some older words that mean energy or spunk, and are also slang for a certain male secretion. A Utah team with that name isn't really wimpy--it's funny, like an eight-year-old boy-band calling themselves the Finger Bangers without knowing what it means.

    Also, although the Cardinals were named for a bird, cardinals are also high-ranking Catholic priests. Nowadays this might suggest wimpy old men, but it still has a ring of the Spanish Inquisition to it. Nothing wimpy about that. (I bet you weren't expecting the Spanish Inquisition here.)

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  1. Kim DuBois 11 months ago

    Nobody expects a Spanish Inquisition!

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  2. Kim DuBois 11 months ago

    Nobody expects a Spanish Inquisition!

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  3. Cn Campbeln 11 months ago

    Welcome to Sydney, the place where professional sports teams get the WORST names:

    Rabbitohs (Rally cry: "Go Bunnies!", I'm not kidding), http://www.rabbitohs.com.au/
    "Rabbitoh" means rabbit hunter as I understand it, but that's only slightly less embarrassing.

    Swans (Rally cry: "Go Swanies", yea...), http://www.sydneyswans.com.au/
    Although an American (and Australian) living in Oz, I love AFL but I simply could not bring myself to cheer for the local team.

    Roosters (Rally cry: "Go Cocks!", naw... I'm just kidding), http://www.sydneyroosters.com.au/
    Are you kidding me?

    And I saved the best for last...

    Waratahs (Rally cry: ?), http://www.nswrugby.com.au/
    Now I know what you're thinking... "WAR-it-are-s", man that sounds like an awesome name!! Yep, it is, until you find out it's a FLOWER!

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  4. Ren Mantle 11 months ago

    What about the Oakland Athletics? are the named after "supporters or what? they should be on the list

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  5. Darcy Difino 11 months ago

    All information that I can find on the Browns team name claims that the rumor that the Browns were named after Paul Brown is actually a myth. In fact, the Browns were named through a name-the-team contest, in which fans first chose the name the Panthers. Cleveland ownership rejected the name and in a subsequent contest the name "Brown Bombers" was chosen after the nickname for Joe Louis, the heavyweight champion. Brown Bombers was later shortened to the Browns, and that change started the myth that the team was named after Paul Brown.

    And, to me, that story makes the name even less wimpy.

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  6. Ryan Gaydos 11 months ago

    Other wimpy nick names

    Cincinnati Redlegs
    Brooklyn Bridegrooms
    Providence Grays
    Edmonton, Tennessee, Houston Oilers
    Indiana Pacers
    Virginia Squires
    Memphis Tams

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  7. Thomas Brown 11 months ago

    so basically u dont like animal names

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  8. Steven Resnick 10 months ago

    Do you not realize that the devil is a fallen Angel? Kind of like how the Angels are going to fall in the playoffs?

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  9. Steven Resnick 10 months ago

    Also number 1 should have been the Green Bay Packers? What exactly is a packer?

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