The 2008 ASAS (PG 13 Version): Part 3

Dr. HollandCorrespondent IJuly 12, 2008

Hello once again boys and girls, after a brief delay in which I had to take a pause for cause to marvel in The Texas Rangers new found level of play, we return to the business at hand, and actually get to the fun part of our show. The time in which we start handing out some hardware. 

This in depth article continues giving the assholes in sports their earned due, so now we move on to our top 10 ultimately awarding one of the top 10 candidates supremacy over them all, but due to readability I will try to break this up the best that I can:

 Brett Favre

It's funny I write the list a day before Brett Favre pulled the unthinkable, "rope a dope I really want to spend more time with the wife and kids, but after ten minutes at home with them I REALLY, REALLY want to play football and want to return for my 61th season.

It's really hard not to just end this article and hand Brett Favre the award right here and now, but prior to this week Favre had already twice before earned First Team All-Asshole decals with his wishy washy attitude towards hanging his cleats up, his nonchalant gunslinger mentality which could make even the most loyal Packer fan grit his teeth and now this.

Brett Favre teasing of the media is one thing. His teasing of Aaron Rodgers is downright pathetic. To know that there is a QB waiting his turn to get his chance to play and him being told from day one it's Favre's team till he retires is one extreme. Favre choice to play in 253 consecutive games dating from 1992 - 2007 is a stat that obviously has put many quarterback hopefulls in a retirement home far too soon or at the least kept them from seeing the light of day. 

But to retire, sign the paperwork,  garner as much attention as he did throughout the NFL season, and hand over the reins. And then 2 months later want it back is too much.

Brett Favre could be our #1.

The Cleveland Indians Drummer in the bleacher seats

We've all heard the story, a man goes to a game, he makes a lot of noise, and in the strange and sometimes unexplainable magics of baseball, he wills his team to a win. This man's name is John Adams and he's been beating his drum in critical moments of Indians games since 1973. A staple of their ballpark, like some fat guy doing the mashed potato at a bad Arena football team's Halftime show.

So why is he on the list?

To understand you must first understand that the Cleveland Indians do not often play in front of weakly attended crowds, they at one time sold out 455 straight baseball games. So marinate on that number and then realize that someone has to actually sit in front of this cult hero, who insists on incessantly beating his drum.

Maybe, just maybe.. average Joe Cable buys a ticket because he wanted to watch the ball game but then once he gets a little closer to his seat he realizes his fatal mistake. He has a seat, but it's right in front of this guy beating a drum loud enough where an entire stadium can hear him. It might not make for a good night.

So yes, John Adams could be our #1.

Omar Minaya

One of the most fascinating things about sports is that when it comes high time to start handing out pink slips to unexpecting coaches and players, the media 9 times out of 10  they do not paint the General Manager out to be the villian.

But in 2008, it seems that Omar Miyana is being painted to be the guy that fired Uncle Harry on Christmas morning with seven children to feed, and all this other theatrics. When Minaya fired Willie Randolph, the number one thing that seemed to overcook everyone's grits was that he fired Randolph past everyone's bedtime at roughly 3 am eastern time.

Now I'm not going to even go there, when is ever a good time to fire someone? I just think that well, if you are making let's say a key lime pie, and you substitute lemons for lie and then the pie turns out to be a lemon pie instead, who's fault is that? The food or the chef?

Yeah, so the guy that hires the players making $100Million payroll, and hires all the coaches, gets to keep his job when everything falls apart?

Omar Minaya for throwing Willie Randolph under the buss, could definately be our #1...


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