Fantasy Football 2016: Updated Rankings and Advice for Team Names

We've reached the halfway point of the 2016 NFL preseason, which means, well, not that much.

Week 3 will answer most of our biggest questions, as starters will get their most extended action. Hints at the winners of battles at quarterback and running back will provide the most intrigue, especially given the fantasy implications.

But what if your league is drafting this week? Before all of that?

Well, um, sorry to hear it. But in the meantime, here are some pre-Week 3 rankings to get you through your draft and some rules to live by.  

QB

Rank	Player	Team
1	Cam Newton	CAR
2	Aaron Rodgers	GB
3	Andrew Luck	IND
4	Ben Roethlisberger	PIT
5	Russell Wilson	SEA
6	Drew Brees	NO
7	Carson Palmer	ARI
8	Tom Brady	NE
9	Eli Manning	NYG
10	Tyrod Taylor	BUF
11	Philip Rivers	SD
12	Tony Romo	DAL
13	Blake Bortles	JAX
14	Derek Carr	OAK
15	Marcus Mariota	TEN
16	Jameis Winston	TB
17	Andy Dalton	CIN
18	Kirk Cousins	WAS
19	Matt Ryan	ATL
20	Robert Griffin III	CLE

The Rule: Wait It Out

You might be tempted to take Cam Newton. After all, what other quarterback doubles as his team's goal-line running back? Newton has had at least 500 rushing yards and five scores in each of his five NFL seasons and is the reigning MVP; there's a lot to love here.

But value matters. Newton's 2015 season stands out as a sore-thumb outlier, in part because it was a historically great year and in part because we'd never seen him play like that before. Newton nearly doubled his touchdown passing total from 2014 and literally doubled his rushing touchdowns.

A regression to the mean is inevitable.

This isn't meant as a rebuke of Newton, who is great, but as a representative sample of a quarterback position that's largely fungible within its top eight.

If I had to bet, I'd pick Newton to be the top-scoring QB this year. Do I feel great about it? Absolutely not. There isn't enough of a difference between him and Drew Brees to offer much of a concern in waiting a few rounds.

RB

Ranking	Player	Team
1	Adrian Peterson	MIN
2	Todd Gurley	LA
3	Le'Veon Bell	PIT
4	Ezekiel Elliott	DAL
5	David Johnson	ARI
6	Thomas Rawls	SEA
7	Devonta Freeman	ATL
8	Jamaal Charles	KC
9	Lamar Miller	HOU
10	Doug Martin	TB
11	LeSean McCoy	BUF
12	Latavius Murray	OAK
13	Eddie Lacy	GB
14	Mark Ingram	NO
15	Carlos Hyde	SF
16	DeMarco Murray	TEN
17	Jonathan Stewart	CAR
18	Jeremy Langford	CHI
19	Matt Jones	WAS
20	Jeremy Hill	CIN
21	C.J. Anderson	DEN
22	Ryan Mathews	PHI
23	Jay Ajayi	MIA
24	Matt Forte	NYJ
25	Melvin Gordon	SD
26	James White	NE
27	Duke Johnson	CLE
28	Danny Woodhead	SD
29	DeAngelo Williams	PIT
30	Frank Gore	IND

The Rule: Do Not Go RB-RB

For years, this was the preferred draft strategy. Get your star running backs early and build your roster around them. The class of pass-catchers was always deeper, and we've all shaved years off our lives reading way too much into preseason gossip over dudes who wind up rushing for 38 career yards.

That time has passed.

Going running back-running back is now the surefire way to destruction. Not even the guys at the top are bankable. Adrian Peterson is 31 years old. He's breaking down sooner or later. Todd Gurley rushed for 100 yards once in his final eight games. Le'Veon Bell is suspended for three games and coming off an injury. Ezekiel Elliott has zero career carries.

And those are the good ones.

The chances are high that I walk out of the first three rounds with just one running back, which leads us to...

WR

Ranking	Player	Team
1	Antonio Brown	PIT
2	Odell Beckham Jr.	NYG
3	Julio Jones	ATL
4	Dez Bryant	DAL
5	DeAndre Hopkins	HOU
6	Jordy Nelson	GB
7	A.J. Green	CIN
8	Allen Robinson	JAC
9	Mike Evans	TB
10	Amari Cooper	OAK
11	Brandon Marshall	NYJ
12	Demaryius Thomas	DEN
13	Alshon Jeffery	CHI
14	Brandin Cooks	NO
15	Sammy Watkins	BUF
16	T.Y. Hilton	IND
17	Julian Edelman	NE
18	Jarvis Landry	MIA
19	Keenan Allen	SD
21	Golden Tate	DET
22	Kelvin Benjamin	CAR
23	Randall Cobb	GB
24	Doug Baldwin	SEA
25	Eric Decker	NYJ
26	Larry Fitzgerald	ARI
27	Jeremy Maclin	KC
28	Josh Gordon	CLE
29	Michael Floyd	ARI
30	Emmanuel Sanders	DEN

The Rule: If You Can Get Away with Going WR-WR, Do It

This mostly applies to those who are sitting near the top of the draft in snake formats. The ideal team could see you begin with an Antonio Brown-Jordy Nelson core, before adding a falling Doug Martin or Jamaal Charles on the turnaround.

There are some years where it's better to be toward the middle of the first round. This is not one. Brown is a points-per-reception godsend who is one of the most reliable performers in the league using standard settings.

Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger has tunnel vision in his direction, and for good reason. There is no better player in the league at getting open.

Even if you can't get the top pick, beginning with Odell Beckham or Julio Jones isn't so bad. As long as there is a second top-eight or top-nine receiver hanging around in the second, WR-WR is the way to go.

TE

Ranking	Ranking	Team
1	Rob Gronkowski	NE
2	Jordan Reed	WAS
3	Greg Olsen	CAR
4	Travis Kelce	KC
5	Delanie Walker	TEN
6	Tyler Eifert	CIN
7	Coby Fleener	NO
8	Gary Barnidge	CLE
9	Zach Ertz	PHI
10	Jimmy Graham	SEA
11	Antonio Gates	SD
12	Julius Thomas	JAC
13	Zach Miller	CHI
14	Eric Ebron	DET
15	Martellus Bennett	NE

The Rule: Don't Go Gronking in the First Round; in the Second Though...

Rob Gronkowski is the best tight end in football. Assuming he's healthy, he's good for 1,000 yards and 10-plus touchdowns at a position where you'd be thrilled with 70 percent of that action. Jordan Reed and Greg Olsen had stellar seasons, but consistency matters; Gronk is the only tight end worth drafting in the first four or five rounds.

Just don't throw your first-round eggs in his basket.

We have no idea how Jimmy Garoppolo will perform in Tom Brady's stead. He could be a Brady clone, a solid Matt Cassel placeholder or an abject Ryan Mallett. Gronk is good enough that he'll still have value regardless of Garoppolo's performance, but those four weeks matter when it comes to playoff positioning.

Also keep in mind that you have one tight end, two running backs and two receivers. Again, these things matter. Reed and Olsen will be available rounds later and replicate 85 percent of Gronk's value. Gary Barnidge will be available seven or eight rounds later and could get to 75 percent.

DEF

Ranking	Team
1	Seattle Seahawks
2	Carolina Panthers
3	Denver Broncos
4	Houston Texans
5	Cincinnati Bengals
6	Kansas City Chiefs
7	Arizona Cardinals
8	New York Jets
9	New England Patriots
10	Green Bay Packers
11	Buffalo Bills
12	Oakland Raiders
13	Minnesota Vikings
14	Jacksonville Jaguars
15	Los Angeles Rams

K

Ranking	Player	Team
1	Stephen Gostkowski	NE
2	Dan Bailey	DAL
3	Steven Hauschka	SEA
4	Justin Tucker	BAL
5	Mason Crosby	GB
6	Adam Vinatieri	IND
7	Chandler Catanzaro	ARI
8	Blair Walsh	MIN
9	Graham Gano	CAR
10	Josh Brown	NYG
11	Matt Prater	DET
12	Cairo Santos	KC
13	Chris Boswell	PIT
14	Brandon McManus	DEN
15	Robbie Gould	CHI

The Rule: Do Not Draft These Positions Until the Last 2 Rounds

I repeat: Do not draft these positions until the last two rounds. Thank you.  

Team Names

• And Hurns to You, Allen Robinson
• Abdullah Oblongata
• Fat Bottomed Gurleys
• Edward Forte-Hands
• Make AmariCarr Great Again
• Almost Jameis
• Le’Veon a Prayer
• Drinkin' Fortes
• Dez'd & Confused