2012 Will Be a Crazy Year

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2012 Will Be a Crazy Year
(Photo by Jeff Golden/Getty Images)

Draft Day 2012

The camera pans to Matt Barkley sitting with his family in Radio City Music Hall. Matt sits there with a nervous look on his face. Todd McShay and Mel Kiper Jr. debate what attribute is Barkley's best. Is it his arm strength, or his accuracy, or his suave blonde hair that is sure to bring him many endorsements? Kiper thinks it's the hair; McShay says his quarterback IQ is what makes him special. 

After an illustrious career at USC which included a National Championship, two Heismans, and 31-game win streak, he is the surefire No. 1 pick. There is no way the Raiders would pass on a player like this. "The pick is a no brainer," states Kiper. 

Roger Goodell steps out onto the stage and up to the podium. He proceeds to state with authority, "With the first overall pick in the 2012 NFL Draft the Oakland Raiders select..." A look of suprise spreads across Goodell's face. "Quarterback Terrelle Pryor from Ohio State University."

The crowd inside the theatre and all the veiwers at home are stunned. Mel Kiper and Todd McShay are baffled; behind them a Matt Barkley highlight reel plays. The producers quickly scrap together a Terrelle Pryor highlight tape.

Kiper and McShay are still astonished they search for words. Kiper finds some: "I think the only logical conclusion is that Al Davis was sold on Pryor's speed and athleticism."

McShay adds, "Pryor is a gifted athlete, but Barkley is a gifted quarterback." Kiper adds to an earlier note, "Al Davis is probably missing a brain"

Roger Goodell steps onto the stage "With the second overall pick in the 2012 NFL Draft the St. Louis selects linebacker Manti Te'o from the University of Notre Dame."

"Holy s**t, Barkley is slipping like an uncoordinated kid on a slip and slide," exclaims McShay.

"How in the world is Barkley slipping this much," Kiper ponders aloud. 

Roger Goodell steps on stage "The Minnesota Vikings have traded the No. 3 pick to the New England Patriots for Tom Brady and the 26th pick." 

People are getting more and more excited about the rest of the draft day drama. McShay and Kiper both mutter at the same time, "Matt Barkley is going to go to the Patriots."

Roger Goodell emerges from his cave behind the stage. "With the third overall pick in the 2012 NFL Draft the New England Patriots select quarterback Matt Barkley from the University of Southern California."

With an aura of releif Kiper states, "This is possibly the best thing that could've of happened to Barkley today other than bypassing a career being inducted straight into the Hall of Fame."

The rest of the draft goes by as usual. No more suprises other than the normal ones.

The Season

The season starts and the Patriots start off a little rocky going 1-2. They have their bye week and they comeback and have a bad first half against Philip Rivers and the Chargers.

They trot out of the locker room after half-time and recieve the kick-off. They drive down the field and score. On that drive, on the play where Matt Barkley connects with Wes Welker for six, some thing in Barkley's head clicked. Suddenly he got it. 

He could disect a defense like nuero-surgeon. He made his reads and made good decisions in the pocket. He finishes the season with 4,513 yards, 39 touchdowns and only seven picks, four of which came in his first four games. 

The Patriots end up winning Super Bowl XLVII against the Minnesota Vikings. Matt Barkley is named MVP and Bill Belichick looks like a genius for making this move. 

Barkley finishes his career with seven MVPs, four Lombardi Trophies, and a girl hotter than Gisele Bundchen. Barkley shatters all passing records set by Brett Favre and others. He is hailed as the greatest quarterback of all time. Belichick is officially named the best coach ever.

The Lombardi Trophy is renamed the Belichick-Lombardi Trophy, and all Super Bowl winners recieve a hoodie with the sleeves cutoff in addition to a ring.

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