Michael Sam Convinces Oblivious TMZ Cameraman He's Getting Married in 'Westeros'

Running across a person wholly ignorant of Game of Thrones is a special experience.

It’s like hiking through South America and finding a member of an isolated tribe. They smile as sounds they do not understand leave your mouth, and their only encounters with civilization are the great iron birds that occasionally screech across the sky and send them fleeing for shelter.

The unthroned (as we’ll call them) have no idea what is being discussed when common Game of Thrones jargon is thrown around in conversation. Basic phrases like “Winter is coming” mean nothing to them.

With this in mind, I present to you footage of Michael Sam, free-agent defensive end and LGBT icon, answering questions from a TMZ reporter with Game of Thrones terminology. 

The reporter approached Sam for a curbside interview outside of the Los Angeles International Airport. The questions centered around the former Missouri Tigers standout’s wedding plans with his fiance, Vito Cammisano. He asked Sam about his engagement, and the former SEC Defensive Player of the Year rattled off his ideal wedding destination:

“Westeros,” Sam said.

Now, here’s where about 50 percent of the population would laugh and answer with a stock joke about the Red Wedding. But it went on:

“What's that, Westeros?” asked the reporter.

“Where the Iron Throne is,” Sam answered.

“OK, I’m not familiar,” the reporter admitted. “Where is that?” 

“We really don't know where it is,” Sam said. “But that’s where I want to go. That’s where Vito wants to go. Hopefully Daenerys gets her ass there real soon...been six books that she’s not in there at Westeros, so hopefully she gets there soon.”

“Is this in Greece?” the reporter asked. 

The line of questioning continued. The reporter wanted to know if Oprah was going to be in Westeros for the big day. No such luck, but Sam says he’s got some real power players coming to the ceremony.

“No, but Tyrion and Tywin Lannister are," Sam said.

“Who are those people?” the reporter asked, deeply confused.

Sam wrapped up the interview by saying guests and well-wishers can purchase from their wedding registry at King’s Landing. I advise everyone to get in early and buy the roughspun tablecloths before the only gifts left are the Valyrian steel cutlery set and his-and-his blood coursers.

Lastly, Sam expressed his hope that things go better than the Red Wedding.

“Hopefully you will not be at the Red Wedding,” Sam said. “... It’ll be something similar like the Red Wedding, but it better not be. I’ll be really upset.”

TMZ has since copped to the misunderstanding. It's amused and embarrassed by the incident, and it promises to send a savvier pop-culture correspondent in the future.

Per TMZ:

“Michael Sam just dominated a TMZ photog at LAX like he was the Mountain...and we were Oberyn Martell...Last time we send Hodor out in the field.”

On the contrary, please send this man everywhere, TMZ. Cut him loose at Comic-Con 2015 and film the bloodbath of nerd rage that ensues as he asks Link from Zelda his favorite part about working with Peter Jackson in New Zealand.

Dan is on Twitter. He could drizzle this exchange over pancakes.