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You know, as in batting average, home runs and RBI, because (he grumbled) people still care about these things.
Batting Average: Joey Votto, Cincinnati Reds
Miguel Cabrera is the easy pick here, but does anybody else feel like Joey Votto is way overdue for a batting title?
Votto is a .314 lifetime hitter, and it's downright remarkable that a low-speed guy like him has done no worse than a .349 batting average on balls in play (BABIP) in any of the last five seasons.
Votto would have had MLB's best average in 2012 at .337 had knee surgery not robbed him of precious plate appearances. Now that he's well over a year removed from that surgery, I'm expecting some vintage Votto in 2014.
Home Runs: Chris Davis, Baltimore Orioles
I doubt Davis is going to hit 53 home runs again, but that's OK. Even so few as 45 dingers would have done the trick of leading the majors in 2013, and something like that could be good enough in 2014.
Davis should be able to reach a bar of 45 homers. He has the most effortless power of any major league hitter, and it helps that he plays in one of the hitter-friendliest parks there is. He's also what every elite slugger should be: a good fly-ball hitter.
In fact, Davis' FanGraphs splits can show he actually got better at hitting the ball in the air as 2013 went along. If he picks up where he left off, he shall be #Crush Davis once again.
RBI: Miguel Cabrera, Detroit Tigers
Despite my indifference toward the stat, sometimes you need to recognize guys who have a nose for the RBI. With 381 RBI over the last three seasons, Miggy fits that description better than anyone these days.
More to the point, though, I like the idea of him hitting in front of Ian Kinsler and Torii Hunter instead of Austin Jackson and Hunter. Kinsler had a better on-base percentage than Jackson last year, and I'm expecting more of the same in 2014. Miggy's RBI count will benefit.