With an athlete's off-field look becoming a pillar of his or her personal brand, stylists are preying on sports stars like shady investors and crooked agents.
While some marquee names are able to stunt responsibly, most walk the red carpet looking like they did during the eighth grade dance in 1999.
To celebrate today's refined gladiator, I present an objectively inarguable list that examines the good, bad and borderline psychotic looks of NFL stars.
Those who get a "Best" nod look as though they have a competent and somewhat sober stylist, while those who are labeled "Worst" look like they rifled a clearance rack on their way to the ESPYs.
The Super Bowl of style kicks off now.